I wonder how many of us would be different people if we took a moment to appreciate, to do a small kind, unexpected gesture to say "Hey, I am thinking about you and I care"?

When it happens, it is like a bright and shining star lighting up the day...even if only for a moment.  I look back at my day and it might all have been full of challenge and struggle, but that one moment, all the struggles can't overshadow that shining star.  At least someone cared, someone made the effort, even if just for a moment.

How do you choose who to help?

Someone asked me today how people choose who to help -as in giving of yourself to benefit others (money, time, talents, etc.).

Great question.

I thought about it and we talked it through.  Most often, we give to those we have a passion for.  Most people's charities are for a cause supporting something they or someone close to them has gone through.  For me personally, I have a passion to directly impact lives.  I could donate money to organizations, but my heart is to help those not involved in large organizations.  To help those around me.  Sometimes that I feel an inner urge or pressure to help someone else, like the homeless person on the corner, even though my gift could be wasted by that person, it is never wasted in God's eyes.  That pressure is more than conscience, and something more than just caring.  It's the Holy Spirit leading.

One day, I decided to make eye contact with strangers and smile.  The second person I smiled at happened to be a homeless person.  He asked for money.  I rarely carry cash and told him I didn't have any to give, but since I was right outside a shopping center, I could buy him something from the store.  We ended up walking to a Subway and he profusely thanked me over and over, saying he and his friend hadn't eaten in 3 days.  I believed him to be sincere.  I bought him three foot long sandwiches.  He asked the sandwich maker to wrap them in 6-inch sections to make them last as long as possible.  After we parted ways, I saw him give a sandwich to two other homeless people and they immediately started eating as if they were starving.  It felt good to be bold and brave enough to have made the difference in that moment.  I only wished I had mentioned Christ to them too.

Other times, I help because I can.  Or because I want to.  God enables me to see a need and I know He has blessed me to be able to give, and I want to make a difference.  It's one way I worship God.  Deciding who to help, isn't something I think about.  I spend more time thinking about the right way to help rather than who.

For example, I know two women who are both in very poor living situations and poor financial circumstances.  One breaks rules and begs others to provide for her needs with constant excuses for her situation.  The struggles of life are present everyday in her appearance, slumped walk, and constant excuses and empty apologies.  She has a good heart and I pray that she will someday escape the abuse she lives in.  I fear that she will never climb out of her struggles until she learns that she is the one who must create the change to impact change on her circumstances.

The other, if she hadn't shared glimpses of her struggles, I would have never even thought she lived in the terrible circumstances that she does.  She was eating only one meal a day, of a bowl of cereal.  Imagine that.  No one knew for three days until someone offered her an extra snack as a friendly gesture and she made a comment about how excited she was to have something other to eat than cereal...later admitting she was living off of one meal per day (a bowl of cereal).  Another time, when her paycheck wasn't quite enough for a bill she had, she quietly and respectfully asked for a loan -just enough to cover the bill.  She didn't ask for more and wouldn't accept more without determining to pay it back in full.  I knew she had more needs than just what she was asking for...but she didn't want more.

Who do I help?  Well, I help both actually.  Because the tender heart God has blessed me with tells me that perhaps the first woman has been beaten down so efficiently that she sees no hope and has compromised her integrity to make ends meet.  When I help her, I try hard to be supportive without enabling and without rescuing.  I cannot solve her problems, I can only lovingly try to support her.

The second woman, I give to carefully, but my heart wants to shower her with help.  But I must hold back because my intentions are to give in a way that allows her to maintain her dignity and does not cause her to stumble.  She is making choices in her life to better herself and better her child's life, and I have a high respect for her.  I know her life is very hard.  I am proud of her determination.

It is a blessing to be able to give, and a responsibility to take seriously.
How do you decide who to help or how to help others?

Leadership.

Leadership.
Set apart by role.
Set apart by responsibility.
Set apart by power.
Set apart by assumption.
Set apart by fear.
Set apart by ignorance.
Set apart by character.

Lonely at the top.
Prioritize towards the bigger picture.
Constant decision making.
Answers to everyone.
Impossible to please all, fortunate to please any.
Hours are long.
Breaks are rare.
Salaries are higher as is stress.

Rewards are not monetary.
Fulfillment is directly impacting the world.
Relationships are key.
Boundaries must be upheld.
Flexibility for the inevitable exception to the rule.
Judgment pours down from all sides.
Assumption truly does what it says it will.
Attacks from those who do not receive their desired outcome in situations.

Careful balance of all third party pressures.
Constant weighing of cost vs. benefit.
Constant reinforcing of boundaries.
Constant teaching of purpose.
Constant teaching to uplift and encourage.
Constant balance between challenging a subordinate and rewarding.

Five to Ten year plan.
Goals are big.
Broken down into bite size pieces.
Constant unknown.
Constant inward battle.

Intellectual.
Compassion.
Personal feelings hidden by maturity.
Hidden by authority.
Hidden by responsibility.
Feelings are understood within and cherished privately.
Vulnerability cautiously and carefully shared.
Vulnerability can cause fear for those who rely on a Leader to be strong.
Vulnerability can connect.

Awareness that others are ultimately not concerned with you.
Only what you can do for them.
Selflessness required.
Self-sacrifice is natural.
Humility.
Honesty.
Integrity.
Willingness to be hated and still uphold the boundaries with the utmost integrity.
Ability to let go and watch, wait, and roll with the punches...you can count on them.