Today was my hubby's 2-1/2 year appointment with chest x-ray and blood work. Everything looks normal and good. :0) The doctor said that recurrence is most common before 2 years, but we'll stay on the 6-month check up routine for a while with CT scans alternating with chest x-rays. It's interesting to hear the doctor's opinions.
We alternate between seeing the surgeon vs. the oncologist. They are on a similar thought process, but still have their own opinions of the best plan for care. (in case you notice a slight difference in what is said by the doctors at each visit I blog about)
I thought it was interesting today as I drove to the hospital for our appointment. They have a sign on the corner with arrows pointing to the different directions to go for the many different clinics they have. I casually noted the letters detailing the "Cancer Pavilion" and realized how strange it is to be so casual about having an appointment in the Cancer center.
We also met a new Fellow today who is working with our doctor for his final year before becoming a doctor himself. He mentioned that all of the people in the clinic know my husband by first name. They simply call out to each other, "____'s here!" I thought it was neat. There have been some changes over the years, but those who have been there know him well. The Fellow said that only happens with a long-term patient or someone who works there. My husband grinned and said, "well, I'm both." He went on to explain how he used to work in the cancer center years ago and now is a long-term patient. They still ask him for help and advice on occasion that is work related. It is nice to have that kind of atmosphere, especially for something as important, yet routine, as cancer care.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Gideon's "Fleece"
My hopeful excitement for the week quickly began failing by the third day. Things I have not dealt with before hit again and I wasn't able to keep my glorious plans, let alone accomplish all that needed to be done in a given day. I had lost my joy in the job. I had no interest in continuing to deal with struggle after struggle. I felt so inadequate.
I decided to see what God's will might be for me. I put out a "fleece" to test what doors were open to me. I applied for a part time teaching job. It was in a church just like my current job, right next to my children's school and the hours I would be working were absolutely perfect. They allowed me time to drop my kids off at school and some time for myself before having to pick them up from school.
The very next day, I was called to schedule an interview. I was excited to imagine being able to leave work at work. I was thrilled to be able to be WITH my children and still be involved in my chosen career field. My excitement lasted all day. The next day, the more I prayed about it and thought about it, while I had nothing concrete to change the great things, I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me "this isn't it" "this isn't where you are meant to be".
I didn't like God telling me no. I tried to push it aside telling Him, "but you haven't even let me try it yet! I don't even know if the pay would be enough or not and you are already telling me no?"
So, I went to the interview, knowing I would learn from the experience and hoping I was hearing God wrong. The interview was awesome! The director loved my qualifications and my personality. She seemed ready to hire me and the pay offered was higher than I had guessed it might be.
And then, God revealed why He had told me no. She asked me what I would bring to the table, what my special skills were. I shared how I have grown so comfortable with sharing the love of God, I speak of the Lord in behavior management, I bring faith into everything I do. She stopped me, and very professionally explained to me that while it was a school supported by the church and a very "Christian" atmosphere, they did not talk about God or Jesus.
I was floored. She continued to explain that it was a very "Christian" environment where all of the teachers and families were kind and loving with "Christian" values, but that religion had no part in their school. On tours, she tells her clients that they will not see a bible, a story book or pictures of God, Jesus, or any other "religious" teaching. My heart sank. The perfect job was not.
We finished the interview and she asked me to think about all we had discussed and she'd contact me the following week to see if I was wanting the position. She was going to consider where she felt I might fit best in her program after speaking to another interviewee (there was two positions available).
All the way home I tried to consider if I could teach children and not teach them about my Lord and Savior. I still wanted the freedom from responsibility and it was so enticing to think of being able to be there for my children. The more I weighed it in my mind, the more I couldn't see myself leaving God out of my career.
The door, while open, was not one for me to walk through. I learned that God really has a calling on my life and I truly have a passion for sharing the gospel with children. The following day, He gave me hope and a renewed fervor for the job I do.
I decided to see what God's will might be for me. I put out a "fleece" to test what doors were open to me. I applied for a part time teaching job. It was in a church just like my current job, right next to my children's school and the hours I would be working were absolutely perfect. They allowed me time to drop my kids off at school and some time for myself before having to pick them up from school.
The very next day, I was called to schedule an interview. I was excited to imagine being able to leave work at work. I was thrilled to be able to be WITH my children and still be involved in my chosen career field. My excitement lasted all day. The next day, the more I prayed about it and thought about it, while I had nothing concrete to change the great things, I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me "this isn't it" "this isn't where you are meant to be".
I didn't like God telling me no. I tried to push it aside telling Him, "but you haven't even let me try it yet! I don't even know if the pay would be enough or not and you are already telling me no?"
So, I went to the interview, knowing I would learn from the experience and hoping I was hearing God wrong. The interview was awesome! The director loved my qualifications and my personality. She seemed ready to hire me and the pay offered was higher than I had guessed it might be.
And then, God revealed why He had told me no. She asked me what I would bring to the table, what my special skills were. I shared how I have grown so comfortable with sharing the love of God, I speak of the Lord in behavior management, I bring faith into everything I do. She stopped me, and very professionally explained to me that while it was a school supported by the church and a very "Christian" atmosphere, they did not talk about God or Jesus.
I was floored. She continued to explain that it was a very "Christian" environment where all of the teachers and families were kind and loving with "Christian" values, but that religion had no part in their school. On tours, she tells her clients that they will not see a bible, a story book or pictures of God, Jesus, or any other "religious" teaching. My heart sank. The perfect job was not.
We finished the interview and she asked me to think about all we had discussed and she'd contact me the following week to see if I was wanting the position. She was going to consider where she felt I might fit best in her program after speaking to another interviewee (there was two positions available).
All the way home I tried to consider if I could teach children and not teach them about my Lord and Savior. I still wanted the freedom from responsibility and it was so enticing to think of being able to be there for my children. The more I weighed it in my mind, the more I couldn't see myself leaving God out of my career.
The door, while open, was not one for me to walk through. I learned that God really has a calling on my life and I truly have a passion for sharing the gospel with children. The following day, He gave me hope and a renewed fervor for the job I do.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Hope Once Again
After weeks of slowly sinking into such a broken place, I am standing upon Hope...not standing bold and tall, but standing in Hope. Trusting in God that He will lead me through.
Fellow Christians are praying for me. In honest prayer I question God, I search for His Truth, I beg Him for answers and rescue. Going off our current bible study, today's sermon was about Trials in our Lives. God uses all of these things to speak to me. He likes to use that still, small voice to speak to me and I apparently still have more to learn about listening for that still, small voice.
The repeated message I am hearing is that I am the spiritual leader of my workplace. Where I lead, it will go. If I do not lead, it will fail. Once upon a time, we had weekly prayer meetings that were mandatory for every employee. With labor laws, that is no longer feasible. Prayer and fellowship times must either be paid for or voluntary. For the past three years or so they have been voluntary and attendance has slipped into the void of neglect and empty chairs.
Today as I listened to the sermon and reflected on things in my life and the people I am responsible for, I felt like God was telling me that I was not doing what needs to be done. I was not bringing Him glory because I was not making the effort to fill my workplace with Worship.
I don't just mean songs of Worship, but Worship by way of honoring God with the choices, actions, thoughts, and words used throughout the day.
It was like a spiritual brainstorm session and I am excited to begin fresh on Monday...even though I still don't know what trials I will face due to a lack of employees to cover all the shifts we have. Somehow that concern is much smaller.
I can't make sense of this call from God as in it relating to more teachers joining our program, but it is what I think God is calling me to do. So I will obey.
Fellow Christians are praying for me. In honest prayer I question God, I search for His Truth, I beg Him for answers and rescue. Going off our current bible study, today's sermon was about Trials in our Lives. God uses all of these things to speak to me. He likes to use that still, small voice to speak to me and I apparently still have more to learn about listening for that still, small voice.
The repeated message I am hearing is that I am the spiritual leader of my workplace. Where I lead, it will go. If I do not lead, it will fail. Once upon a time, we had weekly prayer meetings that were mandatory for every employee. With labor laws, that is no longer feasible. Prayer and fellowship times must either be paid for or voluntary. For the past three years or so they have been voluntary and attendance has slipped into the void of neglect and empty chairs.
Today as I listened to the sermon and reflected on things in my life and the people I am responsible for, I felt like God was telling me that I was not doing what needs to be done. I was not bringing Him glory because I was not making the effort to fill my workplace with Worship.
I don't just mean songs of Worship, but Worship by way of honoring God with the choices, actions, thoughts, and words used throughout the day.
It was like a spiritual brainstorm session and I am excited to begin fresh on Monday...even though I still don't know what trials I will face due to a lack of employees to cover all the shifts we have. Somehow that concern is much smaller.
I can't make sense of this call from God as in it relating to more teachers joining our program, but it is what I think God is calling me to do. So I will obey.
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