Patience vs. Determination

I have often been praised for having patience in situations.  It is more than mere patience.  It is a stubborn determination to battle past a the obstacles...to get past that seemingly solid wall and break through.  In my line of work this often means getting past a child's fear or pride to break through to the vulnerable child on the inside who longs to be loved and understood. 

Many times in my career I have used this stubborn so-called patience to help a child succeed. 

• A four-year-old at nap time who shows early signs of ADHD can't lay still to sleep.  Constant and consistent relaxing touches from head to toe for 30 minutes did the trick and over repeated efforts, helped this child get the rest he needed.
• An eight-year-old who'd been abused and ran away repeatedly intentionally trying to be kicked out.  After hours on end spent with him hiding under a chair in my office, he learned summer camp was a safe place to be.  A place with boundaries and rules he could trust to be there.  This progress allowed him to have a positive experience with other children, other adults, and let his mother attend school to support her children after escaping from their abuser.
• A three-year-old who had been unwittingly taught to use tantrums to meet her wants and needs learned more appropriate ways to express herself and began to accept authority without the tantrums.

Reaching adults is not so simple...they are not children.  They are not stuck with me and I can't lovingly outlast them. They can run away.  Their walls are not so easy to understand and their lies are harder to see.  Their attacks reach a much deeper personal level than a child's feeble attempts.