We were able to try one of the local churches last Sunday. They do things differently here. The older kids attend service with their parents and a Sunday school class with peers. We tried an evangelical church with its roots tied directly to the Swedish immigrants that came in the 1800's. I thought that was interesting. The pastor taught a good sermon on abortion and the heart of the matter that my younger daughter enjoyed, but my oldest lost interest and got bored. All the people were quite welcoming and friendly. Worship was more traditional, but I enjoyed the old hymns and songs I learned as a kid in church. The kids got excited during the offering because they thought it was communion. Our old church had boxes for tithing posted around the church and never took an official offering. I had to explain what an offering was.
Next, we plan on trying the church closest to our house. Its website seems like it will be a more tradition-following church, than the non-denominational we are used to. They had an open house we attended and of course, everyone again was quite welcoming. Both churches work together to operate a private Christian school. I thought that was a really neat thing to see in such a small town. I'm used to seeing competition and judgement in small towns and was pleasantly surprised!
The pastor's sermon on abortion was not one that you'd expect. His sister had an abortion in the 70's just a couple years after Roe vs Wade. He and his wife had offered to care for his sister and adopt her baby as their own. They were crushed when he learned that she had an abortion a few weeks later. He told of how he was in seminary school and searched for help within his church family and came to the realization that although Roe vs Wade was 2 years old, the church hadn't even realized it had a role to play in dealing with the effects of it all.
Later in life, his own daughter chose to have an abortion. Through both circumstances and many, many years of searching for God's heart on the matter, he came to the realization that how the church deals with abortion in general is (in his opinion) harmful at worst and negligent at best. It isn't a theological problem and can't be dealt with in that manner. Every woman who has an abortion knows she is killing a child. They are often in a crisis mode, striving to survive with the life-changing circumstances that being pregnant and adding a child would do.
I've known two women who were open about their past abortions. Both were/are good friends. They forever remember their abortion date, even more so than their due date. They wonder about the child and what might have been. They experience sadness, guilt, and have come to accept, that at the time, they made the choice they believed to have been best for all involved.
One was not saved, the other was. They don't remember their pregnancies and abortions as blobs of tissue or as a choice about their bodies. It was a lifestyle choice and a choice made in fear. Both were victims of rape, one was a struggling young woman dating men just to have a meal to eat. The other was a single mother of two, trying to escape an abusive ex-husband. Neither saw themselves in a place where they could manage a pregnancy, let alone bringing a child into the world. I can empathize with them, imagining myself in their shoes. It isn't about whether or not killing a child is wrong. They knew what they were doing, society makes the effort to remove any guilt-causing labels or judgements, but they knew and the emotional struggle didn't go away just because the situation did. Dealing with having an abortion took them years, and they will never forget.
It is a heart matter, as Christians we need to be loving these women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. Loving them in the moment, as they are -no matter how broken. Letting them know we are there for them...not there to save a baby, but there to love the women dealing with an unexpected pregnancy. Many are between a rock and a hard place. For his sister, her heroin addicted boyfriend left her and she faced a pregnancy 'alone' where she would give away her baby at the end. Her life as she knew it would end for the duration of her pregnancy and then she would label herself a failure as a mother for giving away her child. With the encouragement of others in her life, she chose abortion rather than facing the struggle. Near the end of her life, she broke down and asked her brother if God would ever forgive her. And the answer is yes! He is the author of forgiveness! He loves us no matter what!
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