I grieved for lost tomorrows last night. As odd as that might seem to you reading this, it isn't an anxiety thing. It is me, as a mama, loving with all her being and accepting that my children are not mine. They belong to the Lord, and I will treasure them however long He chooses to allow me to enjoy being their mama. It is accepting that our tomorrows are not promised here on earth.
And I hurt at the thought of potentially losing anyone I love so dearly. My heart's desire is to walk this road that God has placed me on. Whatever happens in our future is His to command and His to direct.
This all stems from my daughter's love for her Jesus. She wrote the most beautiful poem last night and it hit my heart like an arrow through a bullseye. She wrote of heaven and her joy in being with her Lord. God out-did Himself in creating her heart. She astounds me with the way she perceives spiritual things.
From her childhood she has strongly desired to be with her Jesus. It has always been a little disconcerting. Raising her has challenged my own perceptions and understandings. I didn't imagine that having children would change me in this way. She belongs to Jesus, in a unique way and however He uses her life to glorify Himself, I only pray that I am able to accept and submit to His will, to obey His leading even if it is hard. I pray for her, that she will find confidence in her relationship with Him- that she will recognize His voice and follow Him wholeheartedly.
From her poem, and experiences with her...how would you live life, how would your choices change if you only had weeks or months to influence this world for Christ? That is where I am. I am looking at where God has placed me and what I can do to live out this calling to the best of my ability, seeking Him first and submitting to Him in all that I do.
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