On a lighter note

 We carved pumpkins tonight!  It's a tradition we didn't always participate in, but it has become a fun family event. 

The boys created faces with theirs -learning tips and tricks of carving.  While our older girls got creative.  They made a cross on one and a dove on another.

We'll set them out on the front step on Halloween when we hand out goody bags.

The kids all helped to make the goody bags.  We buy colorful sandwich baggies and fill them with a gospel tract, candy, and a small toy:

The gospel tract is because we want to shine the light of Jesus to all who come to our door.

The candy because it is the typical expectation.  This year we chose dum-dum suckers.  I noticed last year several kiddos were excited to have a sucker vs chocolate in their bags.

The toy because we know what it means to have food allergies. I don't want any kid to get something from our house and not be able to enjoy at least one item they get.  This year it is a small, rainbow-colored spring with a smiley face on it.  Last year we did a variety pack of things like sticky hands, slap bracelets, etc.

It's fun to hand out the goody bags.  The kids are often surprised that they get a baggy of things and not just a piece of candy.  We've also gotten to know several of our neighbors this year, so we will recognize more of them too, and that is also fun!

For Me

To be understood, I read, is a foundational need.

I have longed to be understood my entire life.  Life has taught me that only the Lord truly knows and understands me.

Psychology says that a need to be understood can also be a need for validation of self, a need for acceptance and belonging.

To God, I am valuable and worthy of His love simply because I am His.

I can do nothing to earn His love and I can do nothing to lose it.   

This concept is so contradictory to what the world has to offer.  I am grateful I know the Lord and am not floundering in this world without Him.

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I saw a meme that said it is a trauma response to try and convince someone to treat you better instead of just leaving.

I saw another that said it is a trauma response to withdraw and isolate when treated badly.

And another that says those who isolate in hard times are those who grew up having to learn how to handle things on their own.

I think these are interesting ideas.  There are so many variables to how and why we respond to conflict in our lives.  I can fit them in some situations, and yet, I don't fit them in others.  I can see how they can be true, but at the same time, they are not necessarily true for all people who behave in that manner.

Recently, I have dealt with some conflict.  It was incredibly stressful and painful.  A valued relationship is now damaged.  I had to step away because it was too much.  I mourn the damage to that relationship, and I grieve it.  At the same time, I believe it was healthy for me to step away too.  I want to open communication again, but the wounds are still quite raw and I'm not ready to step back into that conflict.  

Continuing to Simplify

The more I simplify the things around me, the more I am noticing the ability to slow down and take in each moment.

I didn't anticipate that.  It has been an unexpected blessing.

This afternoon I played a game of cards with my son and was able to be fully present with him.  Often times, I am mentally an energizer bunny, but today it was just the two of us and our card game.  No mental interruptions or random thoughts.  It was strange and really nice.

I was recently inspired to simplify my social media.  I unfollowed several accounts on my feed.  Some, I think were only "followed" because my fat fingers hit the wrong button while scrolling.  Other pages that I unfollowed share content that I like to read and learn about, but at this time in my life were just cluttering my brain with information I couldn't put into application right now.

Taking away the mental clutter is freeing.  More and more I can focus on what is most important.  And the phrase that is beginning to take up more living space in my brain is this one:

Live for God's Glory.

I suspect God is teaching me more about this phrase and what it will mean in my life. 

What matters most?

 This year has been a growing year thus far.  I am learning to pay closer attention to my needs and limits, as well as the needs and limits of my family.  

I have often heard about priorities and balancing them.  But I've been learning something a level deeper than that. I serve, often to my own detriment.  I serve because it brings me joy.  But when I serve to the point that I am diminishing my own abilities to do and be what I desire for my family and myself, that's a problem.

Most specifically, I am giving my gardening and food preservation ideals a seat on the back burner.  I enjoy those things.  It is beneficial for my family when I do them.  Our economy and food supply issues in our country give my hobbies even more of a benefit than just being healthy.

The big 'BUT', is that it takes time and energy out of me and my day.  While I could keep up with my hobbies and still do the other things that I do, it taxes me.

I'm taking the concept to all areas of my life.  In homeschooling, we are part of two homeschool groups.  We won't participate in all the things; we will participate in some.  I'm writing fewer blog posts, spending less time on my phone, and more time on what matters most.

Priorities do not dictate my choices; they guide me in knowing which choices help or hinder me in living this life that the Lord has given.  I'm the type of person who can see both sides of the coin.  

Choices can be challenging for me if I don't have a strong opinion regarding the choice before me.  So, I am learning to prayerfully consider, "What matters most?"  Is that thing worth the time and energy spent to accomplish it?  Is it where God is leading?  Even if it is a 'good' thing, is it the right timing for our family?  

The best part is, I am finding that I have more time to pray, I can think about things with more clarity, and it is easier to say "no" or cut out that thing that hinders more than it helps.

Humble Pie can be thought provoking

 I did wrong.  I ate my humble pie and asked for forgiveness.

While talking to God about it before I decided to eat my humble pie...debating if and how to go about it, I asked Him:  Lord, why can I act so foolish sometimes?  Why can't my sin be celebrated?

Out of context, that sounds quite atrocious.  No, I don't want my sin celebrated, or any sin for that matter.

In our culture, this entire month has been dedicated to the celebration of a specific sin and those who do not celebrate and openly accept it are considered bigots, haters, and worse.  

So, it would be much easier to not eat my humble pie and have those I've wronged celebrate my actions and choices instead.  

Can you imagine?  "Oh, I see I did something you didn't approve of, but your approval isn't what matters, come and celebrate my sin with me!  I chose it and all that matters is that my choices don't get condemned"  ....even writing this is utterly ridiculous and I must shake my head and laugh at myself.

Why are some sins culturally acceptable and other sins not?  Culture willingly condemns the sin that hurts others.  (murder, theft, etc.)

However, sins that blatantly defy God are often celebrated.  Humanity rebels against the idea of a God that keeps us accountable to His standards. (pride, sexual immorality, lusting for the pleasures of this world, idol worship, etc.)

Jesus loved the sinner and invited them to be made new.  He invited them to leave their sin behind.  He never once affirmed the sin or celebrated it.  When we eat our humble pie and allow Him to work in our lives, we are made new.  We are made more like Him and that is a wonderful thing.

Learning at Home

Every homeschool year is so different from the others.  This year is nearly completed.  Our oldest graduated high school and our youngest starts kindergarten next fall.

I am noticing a trend.  The longer I educate my children, the more comfortable I am in embracing home learning.  The public-school trends, timelines and rules are fading away.

The biggest difference I'm noticing currently is our school year schedule.  When we started, our girls were accustomed to the 9 months of school with a 3-month summer break.  We've generally kept that type of schedule for them.  

I notice that summers get busy with activities, vacations, and just the desire to be outdoors.  It is more difficult to do curriculum schoolwork.  At the same time, leaving our education routines and then trying to get back into a routine again in the fall is challenging -even for me as the adult!

Our boys, they have only known home learning.  There aren't any preconceived notions about what is required for our time or our learning routines.  Our last girl is planning on working on next year's classes this summer, so I'm thinking we will take some time off, but not completely forgo our learning routines either.

Eternal Perspective

 Eternal Perspective.  

This phrase is the best definition of my point of view in most of my conversations. And often, my opinions and views differ from others, but it isn't ignorance or denial as many people assume.  (There are times where my point of view is fallible...I'm human.)

My opinions often differ because I tend to view arguments and situations from an eternal perspective, from the ideals and desires of God that I have learned and absorbed through my time being in the Word and studying it.

There is no issue or cause that I do not take an eternal perspective to interpret.  You've seen me do it here before.  I will learn of something new and take time to mull it over and determine what stance I will take.  I can often see both sides of the issues presented, but there are more than just the two sides.  There is a bigger picture, an eternal and spiritual influence within every issue and decision we face.

While we as Christians are to fervently love one another, Jesus loved without authorizing sinners to continue sinning and He loved in spite of sin, knowing what a sinner could not understand without first coming to Him.

Having an eternal perspective means seeing sin for what it is, loving the sinner and sharing the Lord with them.  So, when someone brings up social justice, or some other controversial issue and argues a specific point, I don't see it as black and white.  I see the spiritual warfare happening to influence both sides.  And then I bring it to the Lord in prayer.