The three month follow up went well. The chest x-ray showed no change from the one done just after chemo. Good news!
Personally though, I am still facing a struggle. I know there is spiritual warfare going on and a battle is waging. Satan doesn't want me to continue to grow. I think maybe I am still coping and trying to deal with life and the difficulties faced last year.
I have had to be the strong one. The dependable one. The one who makes it work, because if I didn't, the lives of those I love would come crashing down with me. I am weary of that role. Weary of the struggle. Life is less scary now, but I feel more vulnerable than ever. This is not the life I dreamed and though I have grown so much through this cancer experience, I am tired of having to persevere. I need a break, a vacation free of stress and responsibility. I need God to give me a new perspective because mine is not good.
I feel like I'm on a teeter totter balancing between rational life and emotional chaos. I have asked for prayer anonymously and I can tell the difference, but I know I need more than others praying. I need to make a change. I'm not sure exactly what...
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