For Me

To be understood, I read, is a foundational need.

I have longed to be understood my entire life.  Life has taught me that only the Lord truly knows and understands me.

Psychology says that a need to be understood can also be a need for validation of self, a need for acceptance and belonging.

To God, I am valuable and worthy of His love simply because I am His.

I can do nothing to earn His love and I can do nothing to lose it.   

This concept is so contradictory to what the world has to offer.  I am grateful I know the Lord and am not floundering in this world without Him.

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I saw a meme that said it is a trauma response to try and convince someone to treat you better instead of just leaving.

I saw another that said it is a trauma response to withdraw and isolate when treated badly.

And another that says those who isolate in hard times are those who grew up having to learn how to handle things on their own.

I think these are interesting ideas.  There are so many variables to how and why we respond to conflict in our lives.  I can fit them in some situations, and yet, I don't fit them in others.  I can see how they can be true, but at the same time, they are not necessarily true for all people who behave in that manner.

Recently, I have dealt with some conflict.  It was incredibly stressful and painful.  A valued relationship is now damaged.  I had to step away because it was too much.  I mourn the damage to that relationship, and I grieve it.  At the same time, I believe it was healthy for me to step away too.  I want to open communication again, but the wounds are still quite raw and I'm not ready to step back into that conflict.