It is hard to stay focused on the Lord during the chaotic schedule of December this year! I've been managing, but I know my "good" can be much better. With family birthdays, the birth of a new nephew, extended family celebrations, and work and still responsible for the household management...I'm a little overwhelmed. It is all exciting and a lot of good things happening, but I forgot to balance it all and keep it in perspective.
Sometimes when I get overwhelmed, I feel how I'd imagine an ADD person must feel. I have lists upon lists of things to do in my brain and the clock and the calendar all seem to meld into one scrambled mess that I can't untangle. On top of it all, two of our appliances decided to break down. Praise the Lord that we had loving angels who provided the funds to replace them! And I realized just how thankful I am that my parents taught me to wash dishes by hand as a child. I know it seems like an easy task, but if I didn't already know the techniques of how to get into the small places and deep bottles, I'd have had a very hard time getting some of those dishes clean! It's something my children are going to be learning in their future!
My husband is healing and recovering a little more each week. He's participating in more activities and spur of the moment fun with the family. Physically he still tires easily and gets out of breath with too much activity, but he is looking healthier!
In my quiet times, I'm still finishing the book of Jeremiah, but today I read the birth of Jesus in Luke 2. I think God is telling me to stop and change my focus. My priorities are not supposed to be about stuff. They need to be focused on Jesus and my family. The stuff won't matter in 20 years. It probably won't even matter in 1 year. How are you preparing for the holiday season?
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perspective. Show all posts
Friday, December 16, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Falling Down
I find it ironic that my last post was labeled "Living Faith" and this very next post is at one of my low points. I started back to work full time this week for the first time in what feels like a very long time. I was working part time at home and part time at work during chemo. It's been a rough adjustment for me to go back and I'm feeling the stress and weariness hit me. I work in the typical middle-management role with break time allowed, but rarely taken due to the nature of the job.
Even though we are finished with chemo, my better half is still very, very ill. I look forward to his health improving, but it is slow going. We don't even know what the long-term side effects will be yet. Tonight I am tired of "fighting the good fight." I'm just plain tired, but haven't gone to bed yet because I'm avoiding the dishes and clutter I need to take care of.
My faith took a blow this week also because I made some bad choices and sinned. This seems easier to do when I am tired mentally and physically. I've confessed and asked forgiveness, but I really felt the effect spiritually between me and God. He's continually teaching me and growing me into a better person, but I still make mistakes and they aren't fun to learn from. It's amazing how Satan pounces on you once you allow a little sin into your life, even for a moment. He uses it to condemn you and mentally bash your confidence. My thoughts have run the gammet from, "I'm so unworthy" to "Why would God even consider using me to serve His people again" If I didn't know the promises in His word, I might fall prey to those condemning thoughts...and, even though I do know His promises, those thoughts hurt and I have to battle against them. I am just praying for God to give me His perspective, a view from outside myself. I know that this is only a step of my journey and with God, I can overcome anything.
...It's about an hour later than my above writing. I was reading through a blog of someone who I highly respect and love as my sister in Christ, even though we don't know each other well. She is a cancer survivor and her blog is at:
http://jillian-commitingmywaysuntothelord.blogspot.com/
Jillian is a true child of God and has such a happy heart. Her cancer experience was much worse than ours has been. I can't imagine, but the things she has blogged about are similar to what I have discovered spiritually in these past few months. It did my heart good to see her frame of mind before cancer, during, and after. Cancer just is horrible. I never wanted to know it. God's ways are not my ways and He has definitely changed me for the better in all of this. I praise Him for who He is and I don't have the words to express. Jillian is an upbeat, postive person. Thank you, Jillian, for being honest and sharing your journey. God is definitely using it!
Even though we are finished with chemo, my better half is still very, very ill. I look forward to his health improving, but it is slow going. We don't even know what the long-term side effects will be yet. Tonight I am tired of "fighting the good fight." I'm just plain tired, but haven't gone to bed yet because I'm avoiding the dishes and clutter I need to take care of.
My faith took a blow this week also because I made some bad choices and sinned. This seems easier to do when I am tired mentally and physically. I've confessed and asked forgiveness, but I really felt the effect spiritually between me and God. He's continually teaching me and growing me into a better person, but I still make mistakes and they aren't fun to learn from. It's amazing how Satan pounces on you once you allow a little sin into your life, even for a moment. He uses it to condemn you and mentally bash your confidence. My thoughts have run the gammet from, "I'm so unworthy" to "Why would God even consider using me to serve His people again" If I didn't know the promises in His word, I might fall prey to those condemning thoughts...and, even though I do know His promises, those thoughts hurt and I have to battle against them. I am just praying for God to give me His perspective, a view from outside myself. I know that this is only a step of my journey and with God, I can overcome anything.
...It's about an hour later than my above writing. I was reading through a blog of someone who I highly respect and love as my sister in Christ, even though we don't know each other well. She is a cancer survivor and her blog is at:
http://jillian-commitingmywaysuntothelord.blogspot.com/
Jillian is a true child of God and has such a happy heart. Her cancer experience was much worse than ours has been. I can't imagine, but the things she has blogged about are similar to what I have discovered spiritually in these past few months. It did my heart good to see her frame of mind before cancer, during, and after. Cancer just is horrible. I never wanted to know it. God's ways are not my ways and He has definitely changed me for the better in all of this. I praise Him for who He is and I don't have the words to express. Jillian is an upbeat, postive person. Thank you, Jillian, for being honest and sharing your journey. God is definitely using it!
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