Life Update

I'm sitting on the couch wasting time on my computer...I'd rather be putzing around the house doing some more organizing or setting up.  But,  that requires moving, and my pregnant self doesn't want to move either.  It's a no win situation.  LOL!

Pregnancy is going smoothly so far.  My fingers have only recently begun to swell on occasion.  Nothing like the swelling I experienced last time.  I'm also finding my legs feel better wearing my compression stockings on a more regular basis.  My increased weight forced me to buy another pair in the next size up.  I'm also going to have to go shopping this weekend to get some more maternity clothes -outgrowing what I have!  The funny thing was that I just hit the 160 pound mark - I've gained 20 pounds this pregnancy - but 160 was my starting weight with my last pregnancy, so it still feels like a small number to me!

I've been spending my free time on the phone and doing research for homeschool stuff, pediatrician stuff, tax stuff, etc.  It seems this is the time of year that everything needs doing.  We are going to have our girls take a standardized test this year to meet their homeschooling requirement to "prove" they are learning.  They only have to get a 13% to continue homeschooling...craziness.  I'm curious to see where they land as compared to their public schooled peers.

So far this year we have done well with homeschooling despite time off for moving and other little life interruptions.  I've been researching enrichment program options as well as curriculum options, although I think I'll wait to order any new curriculum until after they take their standardized test.  Just in case it reveals something specific we need to address.

I'd love to be able to purchase a ready-made preschool curriculum for my little guy, but knowing me, I still would not be happy with that and want to make my own tweaks and creations for his learning.  I'm just struggling finding the time and energy to think that far out of the box.  With my older kiddos, we have an outline to follow at least, so even if I deviate off the learning they provide, I have topics and goals to aim for.  It seems all my years in early childhood have escaped my pregnant brain when it comes to curriculum for our son.  I'll get there.  I know I will.  We do activities and games, just not as structured as I am dreaming of.

We also need to start looking into landscaping for our yard in the next month or so.  My brain knows this, but it hasn't comprehended that to make it happen we have to actually start making phone calls and thinking about what we want to accomplish.  Too many things on my mental plate!

Hubby has been fighting with the pharmaceutical company trying to get his new medication figured out and started.  We think we got it finally figured out after several weeks of misunderstandings and failures on their part.  My fear is that it will cause the same type of allergic reaction as the other medication he was on.  If so, we start at square one again.  His rash has lessened and decreased significantly, but it hasn't disappeared and he continues to have new spots appear.  It is nothing like how bad it used to be, and I've been asking him to talk to his doctor about what they think about it not being gone yet.  His health has deteriorated significantly being off his medication.  He's back to using his cane and really struggling getting around.  Part of it may also be that we've deviated from his diet since selling the house and moving.  Life is still not settled yet and I'm finding my bearings slowly.

Potty training has been an adventure, my first time training a boy at home.  He's gotten used to going potty when the alarm on my phone rings.  Sometimes he fusses that he has to stop playing, but he typically will go.  I'm waiting for him to start taking some initiative too...if the alarm doesn't ring, he simply doesn't care if he is wet or not.  We've discussed just putting him in underwear to see what that does, but haven't decided if we're ready for it or not.  I need to do some more research to remind myself the stages and developmental milestones of potty training.  He doesn't react well to negative feedback and will regress for a day or so if I lose my patience with him, so I've been working on that too.  I haven't been as strict with him in a discipline sense, so the tactics I've used in the past don't work as well because he isn't used to them.  Parenting is challenging!

Struggles with Faith

Someday I will learn how to appropriately respond when it comes to my passion in my faith.  Particularly the differences with my own personal faith and the Catholic faith as of late.  I shared some of my feelings on it and am wishing I would have kept my mouth shut or a bit more censored...I don't want to create animosity within the body of Christ or make others stumble because of my own personal convictions.  It's hard when I haven't completely reconciled all my feelings about it in my own mind.

My one big disclaimer is that I know true heart-felt, devoted believers who are Catholic, as well as many who are not.  If you choose to participate in the Christian faith as a Catholic, I have no problem with your choice as an adult.

I have had problems attending mass myself and also watching some of my own family members raised in the Catholic church where there is so much difference and sometimes what feels like misleading information represented.  I am quite thankful that my nieces have finally finished the Catholic rituals that require my attendance as a loving aunt.  It was very difficult to sit quietly and participate in some of the rituals and traditions as a supporting family member.

A few years ago, I was able to connect with an acquaintance from high school on Facebook who is Catholic and ask her why they believed what they believed about infant baptism.  Before that, no one was interested in explaining to me why some of their traditions and rituals were different than the protestant ones I grew up with.  Basically, it comes down to theology differences and the passing down of beliefs from priests and Catholic scholars of old.

One single bible verse was referenced in a 15-minute long youtube explanation of the Catholic belief.  The priest explained the interpretation from one of their earliest scholars and how the entire ritual and belief that baptism saves babies was based on it.  No other bible verses were used as a reference or support for the given interpretation.  I have always been taught that Scripture Interprets Scripture.  To hear and see that an entire tradition and belief was based on one single verse and interpretation of that verse simply because the man who made the interpretation was a respected clergy member, made me realize that our foundational systems were quite different.

After that I stopped asking her questions (she was hoping I might convert), and let her know that I appreciated all her candid answers in helping me to understand some of the differences in our two Christian faiths, but that with differing interpretations of the bible, I didn't think it was wise to continue to debate our differences.  The important thing remains our shared faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

That is one point a pastor made long ago that I really respected.  Doctrinal differences will be solved in Heaven.  As long as our foundation of salvation is belief in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, the rest -while important- is not a determining factor for salvation.  Arguing faith doesn't often result in non-believers coming to know Christ personally.  Sharing your faith and personal testimony does.

Sunday, Fun Day!

We've had a fun and relaxing day so far today!  After being sick with a yucky cold the past few weeks, I finally felt well enough to make it to church without spraying sneezes everywhere.

Our two oldest love their classes.  They can't even explain it to me, just that they love their church class.  I stayed with our toddler in his class today -his first time going.  He was mad at first because he thought he was going to get to play toys and was very excited to play toys at church.  It turns out that his new class for 2-3's doesn't play toys.  They have a worship time, story time, snack and then a craft time.  There is also a small bathroom in the class for kids who are potty training.  Overall, he had a good time.  He has some learning to do when it comes to the more structured activities.  Being the only toddler at home, he hasn't had much experience with group things.

Everyone has been very welcoming and friendly to us there.  I think it is a small enough church that they recognize new people.  I kind of like that.  It can be convenient and safe to fit into the crowd, but I want a church home where the people there are a second family.  We might find that here!

After lunch and putting our little guy down for nap, we watched Ant Man & The Wasp as a family.  It was really nice to spend that time together.  My hubby has been struggling physically for a while and we haven't had much time together lately.  A nice relaxing afternoon!

I just realized that I haven't posted much of an update on my hubby's health lately.  He found a new dermatologist and a new rheumatologist closer to us.  His dermatologist is amazing and I am so thankful for her!  She reviewed his history and refused to simply accept his diagnosis as is.  She did some tests and a biopsy on the infection he has been struggling with.  All the cells in the biopsy are related to allergic reactions, and with the timing of the first outbreak, she (and we) think it might be his biologic injection that he took weekly.  He's been off of it now for several weeks and we've seen steady improvement in his skin infection.  Praise the Lord!  May it continue to heal and disappear!

The unfortunate side effect, is that he no longer has the TNF blockers to help with his autoimmune disease.  So he is back to using his cane and has had a few days where he couldn't handle it and had to work from home.  Thankfully, his job allows him to work from home as needed!  On the plus side, he is doing better than he anticipated.  Yes, he has more pain and is more handicapped by it, but it is not as bad as past flares he has dealt with.  Considering how bad he has gotten in the past, it isn't as bad as it could be.  His new rheumy is working to get him started on a new biologic after the old one is completely out of his system.  We are praying that he won't have any allergic reactions to the new one and that insurance will cover it!

Also on the doctors topic, we found a Christian medical practice nearby that seems to be more open to functional medicine, nutrition, and potentially vaccine delays too.  I haven't met them in person yet, I still have to go through the introductory stuff, but I am hopeful.  We are also praying things go well with this practice -they are in-network for our insurance!

Finding a new church home.

I see a lot of people asking how to do this.  For me it starts with praying for God to lead us to the right one, and then researching the church's statement of faith, how their services work, what opportunities they offer for families and kids since we that is a big part of who we are.  Then I look into times of services and locations for what might work best.

We visited a local church.  My youngest daughter enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, but my oldest hated it.  We were going to visit another local church, but her attitude was so bad about it that I decided to try a church more similar to the church we used to attend.  It's located in another town, but still just a 15 minute drive away.

She loved it, both of them loved it in fact!  It also broadcasts the sermon live online so my hubby can receive the same message I do in church.  I think we found our new church home.  It is much smaller than our last church, but the way things are set up is very similar.  They also have a homeschool mom's night out which is exciting!

I'll have many of the same challenges with my toddler and soon-to-be newborn, but this season of life is simply that, a season of life.  We'll manage somehow.  With my toddler, it's going to be all about the teachers in his class.  If he can learn to feel safe with someone other than me, he'll be just fine.  With the newborn, I'm expecting to spend more time out in the café area watching the tv screens, or leaving the baby home with my hubby.  We shall see how it works out!

Trying new churches and a hot topic.

We were able to try one of the local churches last Sunday.  They do things differently here.  The older kids attend service with their parents and a Sunday school class with peers.  We tried an evangelical church with its roots tied directly to the Swedish immigrants that came in the 1800's.  I thought that was interesting.  The pastor taught a good sermon on abortion and the heart of the matter that my younger daughter enjoyed, but my oldest lost interest and got bored.  All the people were quite welcoming and friendly.  Worship was more traditional, but I enjoyed the old hymns and songs I learned as a kid in church.  The kids got excited during the offering because they thought it was communion.  Our old church had boxes for tithing posted around the church and never took an official offering.  I had to explain what an offering was.

Next, we plan on trying the church closest to our house.  Its website seems like it will be a more tradition-following church, than the non-denominational we are used to.  They had an open house we attended and of course, everyone again was quite welcoming.  Both churches work together to operate a private Christian school.  I thought that was a really neat thing to see in such a small town.  I'm used to seeing competition and judgement in small towns and was pleasantly surprised!

The pastor's sermon on abortion was not one that you'd expect.  His sister had an abortion in the 70's just a couple years after Roe vs Wade.  He and his wife had offered to care for his sister and adopt her baby as their own.  They were crushed when he learned that she had an abortion a few weeks later.  He told of how he was in seminary school and searched for help within his church family and came to the realization that although Roe vs Wade was 2 years old, the church hadn't even realized it had a role to play in dealing with the effects of it all.

Later in life, his own daughter chose to have an abortion.  Through both circumstances and many, many years of searching for God's heart on the matter, he came to the realization that how the church deals with abortion in general is (in his opinion) harmful at worst and negligent at best.  It isn't a theological problem and can't be dealt with in that manner.  Every woman who has an abortion knows she is killing a child.  They are often in a crisis mode, striving to survive with the life-changing circumstances that being pregnant and adding a child would do.

I've known two women who were open about their past abortions.  Both were/are good friends.  They forever remember their abortion date, even more so than their due date.  They wonder about the child and what might have been.  They experience sadness, guilt, and have come to accept, that at the time, they made the choice they believed to have been best for all involved.

One was not saved, the other was.  They don't remember their pregnancies and abortions as blobs of tissue or as a choice about their bodies.  It was a lifestyle choice and a choice made in fear.  Both were victims of rape, one was a struggling young woman dating men just to have a meal to eat.  The other was a single mother of two, trying to escape an abusive ex-husband.  Neither saw themselves in a place where they could manage a pregnancy, let alone bringing a child into the world.  I can empathize with them, imagining myself in their shoes.  It isn't about whether or not killing a child is wrong.  They knew what they were doing, society makes the effort to remove any guilt-causing labels or judgements, but they knew and the emotional struggle didn't go away just because the situation did.  Dealing with having an abortion took them years, and they will never forget.

It is a heart matter, as Christians we need to be loving these women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant.  Loving them in the moment, as they are -no matter how broken.  Letting them know we are there for them...not there to save a baby, but there to love the women dealing with an unexpected pregnancy.  Many are between a rock and a hard place.  For his sister, her heroin addicted boyfriend left her and she faced a pregnancy 'alone' where she would give away her baby at the end.  Her life as she knew it would end for the duration of her pregnancy and then she would label herself a failure as a mother for giving away her child.  With the encouragement of others in her life, she chose abortion rather than facing the struggle.  Near the end of her life, she broke down and asked her brother if God would ever forgive her.  And the answer is yes!  He is the author of forgiveness!  He loves us no matter what!

One step at a Time

It's funny how the life lessons we learn in one area pop up again in other areas throughout our lives.

Right now, it is "one step at a time" or "one box at a time".  Little steps.  Any progress is still progress, even if it is slow.  We finally got our curtains ordered, arrived, and hung in our kitchen/living room.  That was all my hubby was able to do this weekend.  It took a lot to accomplish - we had to break out the big metal ladder just to reach the tall living room window.

Today was a pretty productive day for me.  We listened to church online this morning as a family, and then I made a final trip to the local dollar store for the bins I like in our closet for organizing.  Since we have a nice walk in closet now, we gave our dresser to the girls -it has a nice big mirror on it that they'll enjoy as they enter their teens.  The trouble was finding ways to organize our socks, pj's, and other items that used to go into dresser drawers and couldn't easily hang in the closet.  With the new bins, I was able to have a place for everything and actually get the majority of our laundry put away!  Hurray!  I also did some packing of clothes I won't be able to wear until after the baby is born and I lose some of the baby weight.

After nap time, I cut the girls' bangs and gave our oldest a trim.  I can see their eyes again!  I now officially cut everyone's hair (except my own) at home.

We tried a new dish for dinner -creamy garlic pasta.  I added chicken strips and made two batches.  One gluten free and milk free, the other regular for the rest of the family.  It was pretty good and easy to make!

After dinner, my daughter and I worked to convert Little Man's crib into a toddler bed.  He was so excited!  At least he was excited until it came to bedtime.  Then his little lip trembled and he cried big giant tears for momma.  Aww.  Breaks my heart to hear that cry.  He was scared to go to bed in his new bed.  Daddy helped him through it, and so far it sounds like he went to sleep.  The real test will be 2:00am when he usually calls for me.  Will he stay in his bed or get out?  Will he fall out of bed at all?  Time will tell...hopefully it is a pretty smooth transition.  We're being given a twin bed at the end of the month that will be his big-boy bed, so we wanted to start now with the smaller size bed to hopefully help ease the transition.

Discombobulated...

Not sure if that is even a word, but I feel very much like that!  I would guess about 40-50% of our stuff is unpacked.  Most of what is unpacked has a home, but a good amount still doesn't have a home.  Part of the problem is that our basement doesn't have a way to anchor shelves to the walls yet, so we can't use all of our shelves until we at least get some framing up.

I love cooking in my new kitchen, but I have to say I don't like having granite counter tops.  It soaks up oils and gets discolored, so it is hard to food prep and keep clean at the same time.  I would have preferred plain old laminate or Formica counters instead, but granite is what the house came with.

Shopping is an experience to say the least.  It is interesting to browse through new stores and see what each has to offer, but it is hard not knowing if or where to find the items I need.  I've learned that the town closest to us does not have the one/two-stop-shopping that I prefer.  One Walmart has my gluten free bread and the other has my butter, but neither has both.  The best Walmart that has all my stuff and is fairly close to us is very busy and enormous.  I actually like it a lot, but I need to find the opportune time to do my shopping to avoid the crowds.

On the plus side, we are adjusting to our new space.  Little Man is finally comfortable enough to start sitting on the potty again.  I'm hoping to start more serious potty training with him in the next few weeks!  If we can get him out of diapers before the baby comes I'll be one happy momma!