I am now seeing the truth behind the advice of "remember to take time for yourself". As this hospital stay continues on, I grow weary. I literally spend every waking moment serving others. Here is a generalization of a typical day as of late:
* Get myself and the children ready for the day.
* Drop the children off at school (occasionally with a hospital visit first).
* Spend the day at the hospital caring for my husband, sleeping when he sleeps.
* Pick up the children from school and return to the hospital so they can visit their daddy.
* Work in supper somewhere between school and the hospital.
* Take the children home and prepare for bed.
* Put the children to bed, do minor necessary housework.
* Spend a few moments with God and it's off to bed for another day.
We are developing a routine, the children and I. My husband's health is slowly improving. It may still be a couple days before he can come home. It has already been several days longer than I first expected it to be. I feel the weariness in my physical body. Spiritually, I have ups and downs depending on the time I spend in tune to the Lord. I am reminded of Isaiah 40. As I read through, these are the verses that touch my heart. They encourage my soul and they comfort me. I need only to rest in His loving arms.
11 He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tips for a Hospital Stay
These are things I wish I knew going into surgery recovery with my husband.
1. Ask the nurse or CNA to explain everything you don't understand.
(ie. what does that medication do? how often can he have that medication?)
2. Often the doctor will order several medications for nurses to give as needed. The nurses may not offer these and wait for the patient to complain or ask for more meds. Ask up front so you are aware of the options available!
3. Ask where supplies are kept. I was given free access to a closet of clean linens, towels and washcloths, as well as a "nutrition room" that kept extra food supplies like jello, tea, and an ice machine. The CNA's actually are relieved not to have you asking them for these things if you are able to help yourself. They are already busy enough.
4. As weird as it may sound, do not dispose of any bodily fluids and notify your nurse with any fluids that are expelled from your body. They measure and track these things to see how your body is progressing through recovery.
5. If you want to wash your hair, but aren't allowed to bathe or can't get out of bed yet, ask for a Shampoo-Cap. It is a shower cap with built in shampoo. They warm it up and it is like a warm massage on your scalp and removes much of the daily grime. Just towel dry afterward.
6. If you know it will be a long stay for your loved one, bring a bag of non-perishable snacks and food. The hospital has food, but it comes at a price!
7. If you are feeling nauseous...try nibbling on plain potato chips or chewing some gum. We were told that the Mayo Clinic had done some research on this and something about these things helps ease the nausea. It worked for my hubby.
8. If your loved one has a pain pump or "PCA" to deliver medication on demand (usually it will only give so many doses in an hour), talk to the pain doctors about allowing you to helping during times when your loved one is asleep. Nurses will tell you not to help the patient medicate...but in the initial phases of pain management, it helps to keep track and remind your loved one when it is time to push the button. Getting behind the pain is hard to recover from versus keeping it under control in the first place.
1. Ask the nurse or CNA to explain everything you don't understand.
(ie. what does that medication do? how often can he have that medication?)
2. Often the doctor will order several medications for nurses to give as needed. The nurses may not offer these and wait for the patient to complain or ask for more meds. Ask up front so you are aware of the options available!
3. Ask where supplies are kept. I was given free access to a closet of clean linens, towels and washcloths, as well as a "nutrition room" that kept extra food supplies like jello, tea, and an ice machine. The CNA's actually are relieved not to have you asking them for these things if you are able to help yourself. They are already busy enough.
4. As weird as it may sound, do not dispose of any bodily fluids and notify your nurse with any fluids that are expelled from your body. They measure and track these things to see how your body is progressing through recovery.
5. If you want to wash your hair, but aren't allowed to bathe or can't get out of bed yet, ask for a Shampoo-Cap. It is a shower cap with built in shampoo. They warm it up and it is like a warm massage on your scalp and removes much of the daily grime. Just towel dry afterward.
6. If you know it will be a long stay for your loved one, bring a bag of non-perishable snacks and food. The hospital has food, but it comes at a price!
7. If you are feeling nauseous...try nibbling on plain potato chips or chewing some gum. We were told that the Mayo Clinic had done some research on this and something about these things helps ease the nausea. It worked for my hubby.
8. If your loved one has a pain pump or "PCA" to deliver medication on demand (usually it will only give so many doses in an hour), talk to the pain doctors about allowing you to helping during times when your loved one is asleep. Nurses will tell you not to help the patient medicate...but in the initial phases of pain management, it helps to keep track and remind your loved one when it is time to push the button. Getting behind the pain is hard to recover from versus keeping it under control in the first place.
Resting in His promises.
The hospital stay continues. Living mostly at the hospital and partly at home is tiring. Our family is ready to be home together. Everything improved so much today, hopefully the end of the hospital stay is near. I took a lesson learned not too long ago and put it into practice....it made my outlook on this journey much more positive.
In Genesis when God created the world, each verse says "there was evening and morning, the (first) day". As such, we rest before we work (unless you work the night shift). Use the evening to spend your time preparing yourself for the next day. After putting the kids to bed I was tired and unable to focus for long, but I needed time with God and determined to do my best. I was reading in Jeremiah because I knew of one verse there that I really like, and then I found another one that states things I already know, but it was good for my heart to read it as stated directly from God and not some human being.
The first verses I knew: Jeremiah 29:11-14a "For I know the plans I have for you' -this is the Lord's declaration- 'plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. You will call to Me and I will listen to you. you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you.' -this is the Lord's declaration..." HCSB
The ones I found: Jeremiah 31:33b-34 "I will put My teaching within them and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be My people. No longer will one teach his neighbor or his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' for they will all know Me, from the least to the greatest of them' -this is the Lord's declaration. 'For I will forgive their wrongdoing and never again remember their sin." HCSB
Spending time reading the Word and surrendering myself to Him brings such a peace of mind. Even when the verses that touch my heart don't obviously make a statement about my life circumstances, they do make a statement to my frame of mind and my spiritual journey. It reminds me to keep my focus on the important things and to trust God to care for everything...especially things I cannot control or have the energy to think about right now.
In Genesis when God created the world, each verse says "there was evening and morning, the (first) day". As such, we rest before we work (unless you work the night shift). Use the evening to spend your time preparing yourself for the next day. After putting the kids to bed I was tired and unable to focus for long, but I needed time with God and determined to do my best. I was reading in Jeremiah because I knew of one verse there that I really like, and then I found another one that states things I already know, but it was good for my heart to read it as stated directly from God and not some human being.
The first verses I knew: Jeremiah 29:11-14a "For I know the plans I have for you' -this is the Lord's declaration- 'plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. You will call to Me and I will listen to you. you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you.' -this is the Lord's declaration..." HCSB
The ones I found: Jeremiah 31:33b-34 "I will put My teaching within them and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be My people. No longer will one teach his neighbor or his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' for they will all know Me, from the least to the greatest of them' -this is the Lord's declaration. 'For I will forgive their wrongdoing and never again remember their sin." HCSB
Spending time reading the Word and surrendering myself to Him brings such a peace of mind. Even when the verses that touch my heart don't obviously make a statement about my life circumstances, they do make a statement to my frame of mind and my spiritual journey. It reminds me to keep my focus on the important things and to trust God to care for everything...especially things I cannot control or have the energy to think about right now.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Be Still and Know that I AM GOD.
The second day at the hospital started out great. Then after a morning nap the pain increased and it felt like we were back at square one. His body was slow to get going after such a big surgery and he needed more medical intervention to help his body have time to start up again. It was very scary and very stressful. Drama, drama, drama. It was one step forward and two steps back. Family once again stepped in and were there with us. I shot off prayer requests via text messaging and silently prayed. Tests showed he was okay, just in need of a slower recovery plan. We got a new nurse who was kind enough to explain the delays and medications and reasonings for the actions she took. The other good outcome was that we figured out exactly what was needed to manage his pain levels. Once we could do that, the other steps to recovery were once again within reach.
The third day was much less eventful. Still perfecting the pain management, but learning more and more. Our children came to visit and I was finally able to take them home for the night as a not-quite-complete family. They immediately showed a decreased stress level in their behavior. It was relieving to have family stay with my husband while I was caring for our children. It was so relaxing to be at home too. I was able to prepare the house for his home-coming and be my own person again.
I had been missing my alone time in my own space. I had been missing my time with God. I prayed a lot in the hospital, but with so much going on and having family not active in their faith around, I didn't find/make that time to just be quiet with God. Once you know that peace when you are still and quiet with the Lord, you miss it when you don't get it. Especially when the world around you is so unfamiliar.
The third day was much less eventful. Still perfecting the pain management, but learning more and more. Our children came to visit and I was finally able to take them home for the night as a not-quite-complete family. They immediately showed a decreased stress level in their behavior. It was relieving to have family stay with my husband while I was caring for our children. It was so relaxing to be at home too. I was able to prepare the house for his home-coming and be my own person again.
I had been missing my alone time in my own space. I had been missing my time with God. I prayed a lot in the hospital, but with so much going on and having family not active in their faith around, I didn't find/make that time to just be quiet with God. Once you know that peace when you are still and quiet with the Lord, you miss it when you don't get it. Especially when the world around you is so unfamiliar.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Hospital stay
The day of surgery was a good day. The children stayed with us at the waiting area for the morning. We passed the afternoon playing cards and chatting after family took the children home for nap.
Recovery went better than the first surgery and it was relieving to know we would be staying at the hospital. Our first night was filled with interruptions and pain management. I brought the flat pillow from home and my neck paid the price.
The first day after was a day I had no preparation for because I'd never had a similar experience to go from. We had planned for my husband to be out of bed and I would go visit the children in the afternoon. The nurse was very slow in getting medication to us and he was unable to sit up, let alone get out of bed. I got stressed because I didn't know what delays were acceptable or not. My children were expecting me, but there was no way I could go.
I called the nurse and my frustration showed. She came quickly and finally delivered the long awaited meds. Unfortunately the pill made him sick...perhaps a blessing in disguise. In order to clean the bed he had to muster up the courage and get out of bed. He showed great improvement after emptying the left over gunk from surgery out of his belly.
Our family was understanding and came to visit us. The children were happy and carefree. Then I was able to relax and I knew God had been working the whole time.
Recovery went better than the first surgery and it was relieving to know we would be staying at the hospital. Our first night was filled with interruptions and pain management. I brought the flat pillow from home and my neck paid the price.
The first day after was a day I had no preparation for because I'd never had a similar experience to go from. We had planned for my husband to be out of bed and I would go visit the children in the afternoon. The nurse was very slow in getting medication to us and he was unable to sit up, let alone get out of bed. I got stressed because I didn't know what delays were acceptable or not. My children were expecting me, but there was no way I could go.
I called the nurse and my frustration showed. She came quickly and finally delivered the long awaited meds. Unfortunately the pill made him sick...perhaps a blessing in disguise. In order to clean the bed he had to muster up the courage and get out of bed. He showed great improvement after emptying the left over gunk from surgery out of his belly.
Our family was understanding and came to visit us. The children were happy and carefree. Then I was able to relax and I knew God had been working the whole time.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Carrying Each Other's Burdens
The day of surgery is ever nearer and I find myself almost detached...aren't I supposed to be emotional or something? :) ..."and my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
As I am doing loads of laundry and packing for the big event, it is not about me anymore. It is about supporting my husband as he prepares for a life altering surgery with a long road to full recovery. It is about preparing for my children as they will be cared for by other family members. It is about spending time in prayer so that when the time comes, I can be the godly support, comforter, encourager that my family needs.
I still have remaining concerns over my family being separated for a short while, but I am accepting of the situation. I know my place and my God-given priorities. I trust that God will provide the wisdom and discernment to know when and where I need to be during this time.
Thank you, Lord, for the peace you have surrounded me with. Thank you for being my rock, the foundation I can fall upon to lift me up and keep me from crumbling. Thank you for your children who are lifting us up and providing for us in the ways you have called them to. I place my household under the protection of the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ tonight and the remainder of this journey. Enable us to get the rest we need and to remain healthy. I pray you would also surround my husband and my children with your peace. I pray that the cancer would fully be removed and you would deliver us from this trial. I praise you for doing what is best for us in all circumstances that may come. In Jesus Name, Amen.
As I am doing loads of laundry and packing for the big event, it is not about me anymore. It is about supporting my husband as he prepares for a life altering surgery with a long road to full recovery. It is about preparing for my children as they will be cared for by other family members. It is about spending time in prayer so that when the time comes, I can be the godly support, comforter, encourager that my family needs.
I still have remaining concerns over my family being separated for a short while, but I am accepting of the situation. I know my place and my God-given priorities. I trust that God will provide the wisdom and discernment to know when and where I need to be during this time.
Thank you, Lord, for the peace you have surrounded me with. Thank you for being my rock, the foundation I can fall upon to lift me up and keep me from crumbling. Thank you for your children who are lifting us up and providing for us in the ways you have called them to. I place my household under the protection of the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ tonight and the remainder of this journey. Enable us to get the rest we need and to remain healthy. I pray you would also surround my husband and my children with your peace. I pray that the cancer would fully be removed and you would deliver us from this trial. I praise you for doing what is best for us in all circumstances that may come. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Pre Op Appointment
We had a good pre op appointment with the doctor. It was very informative about what to expect. We don't have to do the fat free diet after surgery -Praise the Lord! Also, the incision will be smaller than what I was thinking it would be, so God willing, recovery won't be as bad as I was fearing!
We did more blood work to test for cancer "markers". If the markers come back elevated the surgery is off and chemo is on. I'm expecting them to be at normal levels because they were last time...I pray they are normal.
We also printed off the actual reports from prior testing. In the notes of the pathology report it said a lymph node was more "prominent" causing them to look at it closer. It still fit within normal ranges, but it reassures me of our choice for the surgery. If it was a growing cancer mass, we will be getting it out soon!
I also am preparing for my absence at work and it was so thrilling to pass off some of my most detested tasks. I'm getting excited to see family and spend time 100% focused on my loved ones.
We did more blood work to test for cancer "markers". If the markers come back elevated the surgery is off and chemo is on. I'm expecting them to be at normal levels because they were last time...I pray they are normal.
We also printed off the actual reports from prior testing. In the notes of the pathology report it said a lymph node was more "prominent" causing them to look at it closer. It still fit within normal ranges, but it reassures me of our choice for the surgery. If it was a growing cancer mass, we will be getting it out soon!
I also am preparing for my absence at work and it was so thrilling to pass off some of my most detested tasks. I'm getting excited to see family and spend time 100% focused on my loved ones.
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