Good evening, ya'll! Sorry...a little bit of dork snuck in there. I just realized that I don't think I ever posted on the results of the CT scan back in December. Here's a quick recap: the scan showed "significantly decreased lymph nodes". Which means the chemo did its job. Hurray! The next CT scan is in June. The doctor said most symptoms should be resolved in 3-4 months. Unfortunately, that may not include the nerve damage in his feet. The nerve damage could be permanent. My hubby says that he feels as if he is walking on rocks all day and by the end of the day his feet are swollen and in a lot of pain. When we saw the doctor in January for his lung test (back up to 75%!), they offered compression socks and/or a prescription medication that changes how your nerves perceive pain. He tried the socks first, they helped with the swelling, but not much with the pain. Then he tried the medication and that was making a big difference until he developed an allergic reaction to it. So, we're back at square one.
I'm praying for complete healing. The doctor is not convinced that the reaction is due to the medication, and we may try it one more time once the reaction goes away. If it doesn't go away, he'll have to see a dermatologist. Medically, we still have issues to deal with. As a family, it feels whole again. Our roles have changed a bit and I've been doing most of the housework and cooking, but I have my husband back and my children have a daddy who is involved and mostly healthy!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
They that wait...
As I have been striving to simply wait on the Lord in my life, I am beginning to realize that this is not a short-term situation. Waiting on the Lord is a life-long place of rest, contentment, and peace. It is where I can completely let go of all my worries and cares about what tomorrow may bring. All I need to do is strive to be faithful in seeking the Lord and obeying him each moment of the day.
Yes, it is much easier said than done! A year ago I would not have understood this concept. It is difficult to describe, but I am trying my best to do so! I used to spend my free time thinking, planning, worrying, and stressing about what choices I should or should not make to ensure the best future for my family. Will I ever be a stay-at-home mom? Should I go back to school? How should my hubby and I spend our money when we get our taxes back? Will I ever have another child or am I done? And the list could fill another several pages of all the things I worried about on a regular basis.
Waiting on the Lord means that I believe with everything I have that He already has my best interest at heart. He has already prepared the path set before me. He grants me wisdom and discernment to make good choices in each day. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail miserably. He is faithful to forgive me and teach me. I don't have to stress about the what if's and possibilities. All I need to pay attention to is what lies directly in front of me at each moment. There are many choices, and it isn't easy, but letting go of the stress and learning how to avoid the habits that lead me to stressing about those things is a journey I am on.
Yes, it is much easier said than done! A year ago I would not have understood this concept. It is difficult to describe, but I am trying my best to do so! I used to spend my free time thinking, planning, worrying, and stressing about what choices I should or should not make to ensure the best future for my family. Will I ever be a stay-at-home mom? Should I go back to school? How should my hubby and I spend our money when we get our taxes back? Will I ever have another child or am I done? And the list could fill another several pages of all the things I worried about on a regular basis.
Waiting on the Lord means that I believe with everything I have that He already has my best interest at heart. He has already prepared the path set before me. He grants me wisdom and discernment to make good choices in each day. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail miserably. He is faithful to forgive me and teach me. I don't have to stress about the what if's and possibilities. All I need to pay attention to is what lies directly in front of me at each moment. There are many choices, and it isn't easy, but letting go of the stress and learning how to avoid the habits that lead me to stressing about those things is a journey I am on.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Waiting Faithfully
I'm in a place of waiting on the Lord. And, I think, for the first time in my life I am recognizing that fact. I'm sure there have been other times, but not times when I was patient to wait and see what He had in store. It's kind of really cool and also a struggle because I like to be an active participant...wait a minute...I am an active participant in waiting!
I am continuing to seek the Lord in my quiet time, continuing to try and do my best for the Lord and for those around me. I'm trying to stay faithful to the Lord despite the many things I don't understand in my life. And He remains ever faithful to me. Granting me exactly what I need, when I need it. And when I mess up, He is faithful to forgive me and show me how to continue on...and when I have doubts or discouragement, He reminds me of His promises and who He is. I can rely on Him to meet all my needs no matter what they are.
I am continuing to seek the Lord in my quiet time, continuing to try and do my best for the Lord and for those around me. I'm trying to stay faithful to the Lord despite the many things I don't understand in my life. And He remains ever faithful to me. Granting me exactly what I need, when I need it. And when I mess up, He is faithful to forgive me and show me how to continue on...and when I have doubts or discouragement, He reminds me of His promises and who He is. I can rely on Him to meet all my needs no matter what they are.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
A Day at a Time
There is always something new to learn, a new concept to grasp, a different perspective to view. God is bringing things to light in my life a little at a time. I'm not feeling so overwhelmed anymore with life, but I am trying to take it slower and not attempt to be 'Superwoman' (AKA: constant failure -because it is impossible!!!).
It was hard to deal with, but a spiritual lesson was being taught. My responsibilities at work and home piled up on me and I felt like I was drowning in it all. I literally could not take in any additional information than what was absolutely necessary to complete the task I was doing in the moment. Typically I would analyze the events of my day and read things into them trying to figure out the day and whether I made good choices or bad and what I could have done differently. After getting sick, that kind of thinking was beyond my capabilities. A true blessing in disguise. He (God) really used those couple weeks in my life to bring me to my knees spiritually and just give up. I think I need to find that place on a regular basis!
We had a guest pastor at church on Sunday and his sermon touched on many topics within the story of the Gentile woman who persistently pursued healing from Christ for her daughter. One thing that really made me think was the fact that Jesus' response to the woman initially was Silence. I've always been a positive thinker saying that God always answers prayer..."yes", "no", or "wait". I still believe that, but I see a deeper perspective in the realization that Jesus used his Silence to draw out the woman's faith. You can read the story in Matthew 15:21-28. I liked the examples this pastor used to explain Jesus' silence. It wasn't a silence to ignore her maliciously. He has a purpose. Always. The pastor gave three examples:
God uses Silence to draw out our Faith to
1. Reveal his glory in a greater capacity than if he answered our prayers the way we thought he should. Note John 11: the story of Lazarus and how Jesus did not immediately go to sick Lazarus and heal him. He waited until Lazarus was dead and then raised him. What an awesome display of God's power and love!
2. Bring about surrender. Note Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. She desperately wanted a baby and prayed repeatedly for this. It wasn't until she surrendered herself and her dreams for her child to the Lord, that she was blessed with a son.
3. Enable us to minister to his people through our wounds. Remember, we also serve a Savior who bears scars as a witness to minister to our hearts.
It was hard to deal with, but a spiritual lesson was being taught. My responsibilities at work and home piled up on me and I felt like I was drowning in it all. I literally could not take in any additional information than what was absolutely necessary to complete the task I was doing in the moment. Typically I would analyze the events of my day and read things into them trying to figure out the day and whether I made good choices or bad and what I could have done differently. After getting sick, that kind of thinking was beyond my capabilities. A true blessing in disguise. He (God) really used those couple weeks in my life to bring me to my knees spiritually and just give up. I think I need to find that place on a regular basis!
We had a guest pastor at church on Sunday and his sermon touched on many topics within the story of the Gentile woman who persistently pursued healing from Christ for her daughter. One thing that really made me think was the fact that Jesus' response to the woman initially was Silence. I've always been a positive thinker saying that God always answers prayer..."yes", "no", or "wait". I still believe that, but I see a deeper perspective in the realization that Jesus used his Silence to draw out the woman's faith. You can read the story in Matthew 15:21-28. I liked the examples this pastor used to explain Jesus' silence. It wasn't a silence to ignore her maliciously. He has a purpose. Always. The pastor gave three examples:
God uses Silence to draw out our Faith to
1. Reveal his glory in a greater capacity than if he answered our prayers the way we thought he should. Note John 11: the story of Lazarus and how Jesus did not immediately go to sick Lazarus and heal him. He waited until Lazarus was dead and then raised him. What an awesome display of God's power and love!
2. Bring about surrender. Note Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. She desperately wanted a baby and prayed repeatedly for this. It wasn't until she surrendered herself and her dreams for her child to the Lord, that she was blessed with a son.
3. Enable us to minister to his people through our wounds. Remember, we also serve a Savior who bears scars as a witness to minister to our hearts.
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