Good evening, ya'll! Sorry...a little bit of dork snuck in there. I just realized that I don't think I ever posted on the results of the CT scan back in December. Here's a quick recap: the scan showed "significantly decreased lymph nodes". Which means the chemo did its job. Hurray! The next CT scan is in June. The doctor said most symptoms should be resolved in 3-4 months. Unfortunately, that may not include the nerve damage in his feet. The nerve damage could be permanent. My hubby says that he feels as if he is walking on rocks all day and by the end of the day his feet are swollen and in a lot of pain. When we saw the doctor in January for his lung test (back up to 75%!), they offered compression socks and/or a prescription medication that changes how your nerves perceive pain. He tried the socks first, they helped with the swelling, but not much with the pain. Then he tried the medication and that was making a big difference until he developed an allergic reaction to it. So, we're back at square one.
I'm praying for complete healing. The doctor is not convinced that the reaction is due to the medication, and we may try it one more time once the reaction goes away. If it doesn't go away, he'll have to see a dermatologist. Medically, we still have issues to deal with. As a family, it feels whole again. Our roles have changed a bit and I've been doing most of the housework and cooking, but I have my husband back and my children have a daddy who is involved and mostly healthy!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The Struggle Begins
Day 4 of Chemo: Fatigue, Digestion Issues, Nausea
My husband's health deteriorates more and more each day. It hurts to watch him change. I feel like I'm losing my husband, the man I know him to be is disappearing...he'll return, but it'll be a long while. He is weak and tired. He can't participate in our family routine of putting our children to bed and other routines of life at home. They are missing their daddy and I hurt for them too. The part of the journey I've been dreading is here...being the single parent, the caregiver-spouse who is on her own. I have a lot of help and a huge crowd of believers praying for me and my family. I have my Lord and the blessing of His Word to read. It still hurts. I'm still sad. Not all the time, but right now, at night when I'm alone is when I feel it the most. I am strong in Christ, but I don't always feel strong.
Yesterday he was tired, but I had the afternoon with him while the children were still at school and we had a good chunk of quality time just hanging out and watching Voyager (yup, we're Trekkie's!). I so enjoyed yesterday! Today I worked the whole day through and brought the children home after school got out. I was tired from a full day and he was already beginning to crash for the evening. We had a simple supper camped out in the living room, not the normal dinner experience, but at least together. I want to create new routines centered around our family being together as much as possible. I want them to still have their daddy as a part of their daily routines, even though our routines are changing. The balancing act is a challenge.
As I think over all of this, I have a choice to make in my heart. I can wallow in the 'depths of despair' and beat myself up with misplaced 'mommy guilt' and loneliness or I can look to see what God has in this place right now. I'm going to spend some time in prayer. I need to draw close to my Lord and Saviour and find my sustenance and joy in Him. If there is one thing I know for sure...I cannot do this on my own.
My husband's health deteriorates more and more each day. It hurts to watch him change. I feel like I'm losing my husband, the man I know him to be is disappearing...he'll return, but it'll be a long while. He is weak and tired. He can't participate in our family routine of putting our children to bed and other routines of life at home. They are missing their daddy and I hurt for them too. The part of the journey I've been dreading is here...being the single parent, the caregiver-spouse who is on her own. I have a lot of help and a huge crowd of believers praying for me and my family. I have my Lord and the blessing of His Word to read. It still hurts. I'm still sad. Not all the time, but right now, at night when I'm alone is when I feel it the most. I am strong in Christ, but I don't always feel strong.
Yesterday he was tired, but I had the afternoon with him while the children were still at school and we had a good chunk of quality time just hanging out and watching Voyager (yup, we're Trekkie's!). I so enjoyed yesterday! Today I worked the whole day through and brought the children home after school got out. I was tired from a full day and he was already beginning to crash for the evening. We had a simple supper camped out in the living room, not the normal dinner experience, but at least together. I want to create new routines centered around our family being together as much as possible. I want them to still have their daddy as a part of their daily routines, even though our routines are changing. The balancing act is a challenge.
As I think over all of this, I have a choice to make in my heart. I can wallow in the 'depths of despair' and beat myself up with misplaced 'mommy guilt' and loneliness or I can look to see what God has in this place right now. I'm going to spend some time in prayer. I need to draw close to my Lord and Saviour and find my sustenance and joy in Him. If there is one thing I know for sure...I cannot do this on my own.
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