Chemo Recovery

Chemo recovery is an extremely slow process.  I rejoiced when they told us that we would have no more chemo therapy.  It's been such a long journey.  Recovery is hard because you don't know what to expect aside from the fact that it will take several months to feel "normal" again.  I can't plan for recovery.  It's also hard because I am so ready to be done with cancer and leave it securely in the past.  One day at a time.  One step at a time.

I don't regret this last year.  I don't wish that cancer never came to us.  I've learned so much and I'm grateful for those lessons learned.  I'm not who I once was...and I know that I've still go so much more to learn.  I miss the perfect peace and unshakable confidence I had when we first learned of cancer.  I was walking hanging on to God's hand.  Having the cancer return was as if I stumbled and let go and still haven't quite figured out how to grasp his hand again.  I haven't requested as much prayer as I did the first time around and I've just dealt with the hard times.  That's all I can think of...I have made so many prayer requests this past year, I almost feel like it's someone else's turn and I've taken too many turns.  Yes, I know that is spiritually irrational, but it is how I feel.  So, if you want to lift up a prayer for us, it is much welcome!  :)