Disability: a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movements, senses, or activities.
Few people realize the extent that disability impacts our lives...and rarely do I share due to my husband's preference to live life as normally as possible and not burden others. The word is one I've avoided using, but is becoming more accepted by both my husband and I as his arthritis continues.
His arthritis is genetic, and often many people are carriers of the gene, but only a few actually develop the disease. As with all arthritis's it attacks the joints causing pain, but this particular arthritis also causes inflammation which results in fusing of joints, muscle spasms, and bones to move out of place. The pain is chronic, never a day without pain. Some days are worse than others.
He works hard and takes great care to provide well for our family so that I can be home and we can provide our children with our best. I am grateful for the opportunity to be home for our family and for him.
I like my traditional role of wife and mother. That is the role I feel called to be in; as well as a role that I flourish in. I love to serve others; especially my husband and children. I give of myself and it makes me happy. I appreciate the sacrifices my husband makes so that I can be home. I understand how his arthritis limits what he is able to do. I understand it is exhausting to be in pain all day...simply being in pain takes an immense amount of energy. So I make it my goal to be his help-mate. I work alongside him in the home as he works outside the home to provide.
School, most shopping, and housework are all generally done during his working hours. When he comes home, we all relax as a family. I'm not so great at being a housekeeper, but my culinary skills are growing in leaps and bounds! Tonight I made him sloppy joe stuffed peppers and cooked the children their favorite macaroni and spam since they're not so fond of sloppy joes -even ones not made from a can! (A no starch/low carb diet reduces the inflammation from his arthritis, so we try to keep his meals that way.) I have learned how to cook all kinds of meat and often cook from scratch using recipes I've found until I am familiar with different methods and flavors we like. I make my own cheese sauce without a recipe for the macaroni, and I microwave a tasty baked potato (potatoes are my current favorite food on my strict diet), but no longer do I cook the whole chicken in the microwave like when we first got married! I try to keep up with the laundry and am pretty good at keeping it clean. Sometimes it makes it out of the basket to the closet, but it is at the very least, clean.
The hardest part is of course that the responsibilities at home with young children are never-ending. While the bulk of our daily work is done during the day, a mother's work is truly never done. I spend evenings balancing time with family and time cooking, tidying up, parenting, caring for the baby, etc. Alone time for me is rare. My hubby supports me in getting out at least once a month to go to my mom's-night-out bible study which I always enjoy, even if getting out of the house is challenging. I'm also starting to attend more homeschool get-togethers which forces me to socialize more. I never realized how much women talked before...maybe it is the fact that we are all homeschooling moms and need adult interaction, but every event I've attended I am surrounded by chatting women. Lots of them. They are very friendly and I enjoy the conversations...and then get home all "peopled-out". This introvert can only handle that much interaction for a short time!
Ultimately, I love where our life is right now. I'm grateful for our blessings and strive to accept and overcome the burdens as we can. God is good. He always has our best in mind even when we don't see it. Have a great night!
