My second week in my new position was a definite week of blessings. I learned lessons and the Lord helped me to let go of the little failures and focus on the growth of each day.
Learning to be a leader and the big decision-maker is such a challenge. I know there was a concern with my ability to be strong in this role and I understand it. But to be responsible for a business, employees, and clients, I cannot be a leader if I cannot do the hard things along with the fun. If a leader runs away from the hard parts, that leader fails the business, the employees and the clients.
For me, the difficulty isn't in making the difficult decisions, it is having to communicate that decision for the party that gets the bad news. My heart is to deliver these messages in a godly, loving, and professional manner that is clear and concise. I'm not always successful, definitely I will be learning through each circumstance that comes my way. I am excited that I am learning and I can make mistakes and learn from them and use those lessons to have positive experiences in the next situation that comes along.
The other thing I am finding is that God has enabled me to have more of a blance between the role of leader at work and wife/mother at home. They are two completely different arenas and it really helps me to have a bigger separation. At home I am the support, the helper, not the decision-maker. It is almost a relief to come home and not have the weight of that responsibility on my shoulders. I am enjoying life more. God is good.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Spiritual Growth: Here and Now
I officially started my new job this week. After months of being in limbo and weeks of being half moved between offices, today was the first day that I felt settled. The moving isn't complete, but I have what I need to do the daily tasks.
Spiritually after such a high in my last post, I am going through a bit of a struggle. Our pastor suggested a fasting period to start out the new year, not necessarily a food fast, but a fast of giving up something to spend time with the Lord on a regular basis. I chose to fast from something that I knew would be hard to do and I have to admit I haven't been very successful. The Lord has definitely been convicting my heart and showing me where I need to step it up in my committment to Him. I haven't decreased my normal time with Him, but I feel Him telling me that our relationship cannot reach the next level if I am not willing to surrender and commit to Him in the harder things.
I know that the act of surrender and self-sacrifice for the Lord may seem like I am de-valuing/ sacrificing myself...in a way it is. What kind of relationship lasts if one person isn't willing to sacrifice part of themselves for the other? I know I am in need of continued growth. In fact, I long for continued maturity and a closer relationship with the Lord. I long to live continually in His presence and to live in His embrace. My flesh resists this and tries to convince me that it isn't worth the reward, even though I know otherwise. My prayer is that the Lord will keep my perspective in check, that I will not take advantage of Him or devalue Him. What a travesty that would be! Who am I to say that a few moments of my time are greater than giving a few moments to Him? How dare I even think such a thing? I have done such a thing. And I regret it. I know I have missed greater things for a few moments of selfishness.
The positive in this is that the Lord doesn't keep a record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13). He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. We can trust Him to forgive and continue to love us and to be absolutely thrilled in the moments we choose to spend with Him going forward. He isn't standing there saying, "Just think of what you have missed or where you could be if you..." He is standing there rejoicing in the choice that we have made to spend time with Him here and now.
Spiritually after such a high in my last post, I am going through a bit of a struggle. Our pastor suggested a fasting period to start out the new year, not necessarily a food fast, but a fast of giving up something to spend time with the Lord on a regular basis. I chose to fast from something that I knew would be hard to do and I have to admit I haven't been very successful. The Lord has definitely been convicting my heart and showing me where I need to step it up in my committment to Him. I haven't decreased my normal time with Him, but I feel Him telling me that our relationship cannot reach the next level if I am not willing to surrender and commit to Him in the harder things.
I know that the act of surrender and self-sacrifice for the Lord may seem like I am de-valuing/ sacrificing myself...in a way it is. What kind of relationship lasts if one person isn't willing to sacrifice part of themselves for the other? I know I am in need of continued growth. In fact, I long for continued maturity and a closer relationship with the Lord. I long to live continually in His presence and to live in His embrace. My flesh resists this and tries to convince me that it isn't worth the reward, even though I know otherwise. My prayer is that the Lord will keep my perspective in check, that I will not take advantage of Him or devalue Him. What a travesty that would be! Who am I to say that a few moments of my time are greater than giving a few moments to Him? How dare I even think such a thing? I have done such a thing. And I regret it. I know I have missed greater things for a few moments of selfishness.
The positive in this is that the Lord doesn't keep a record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13). He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. We can trust Him to forgive and continue to love us and to be absolutely thrilled in the moments we choose to spend with Him going forward. He isn't standing there saying, "Just think of what you have missed or where you could be if you..." He is standing there rejoicing in the choice that we have made to spend time with Him here and now.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Faithful with little
Another month has gone by and a new year is begun. Time slips away it seems, but not without impact. Professionally, I continued to face challenges this past month during my interim 'interview', but by the grace of God, He has carried me through. Almost literally. Sometimes I feel totally disconnected from the events of daily life at work. I am using my giftings and following His lead. The outcome of events can only be from the Lord. It feels nearly too good to be true, but I know that I am resting in His arms and following His will. I only pray my human nature doesn't fail Him.
The week before Christmas I was presented with a job offer for the position I have interimed. It required a lot of thought and prayer. Both my husband and I spent a lot of time discussing what was best for our family. In the end, we came to the conclusion that I could not accept the position as offered. I stressed over this because I have such a strong committment to my staff and our clients. I truly felt the Lord had called me to that position, but at the same time I knew He had not called me to that particular offer. It was incredibly scary, but once I realized that I needed to accept the possibility that the job might not be mine and to trust in the Lord over the outcome, I was able to confidently maintain the position my husband and I had decided upon.
Never have I been so nervous. I had peace that the Lord would work through whatever would happen, but I wanted badly to be able to maintain my integrity and present my position in a professional manner as I negotiated different terms. As always (with prayer of others and faith) the Lord came through and allowed the talk with my superior to go well and I was able to accept the position on acceptable terms for both parties. I have now become responsible for an entire business...
Even as I write those words, I cannot fathom what they mean. The responsibility of my new position is overwhelming. Not overwhelming in a stressful way, but I can barely comprehend what it means. I'm not sure I am capable of comprehending it all. My life is about to change in a radical way. Is it a good change for me and my family? Will my career overwhelm my role as wife and mother? To be honest, I can answer the second question easily. My father may claim this is a 'theological' answer, but it is fact:
If I remain focused on the Lord, He will equip me to be the woman He has called me to be in all areas, professionally and personally. It isn't my job to figure out how. It is my job to simply remain humble and seek Christ first above all things. It is His job to equip me and lead me. I pray that I will remain faithful to Him.
Matthew 25:21
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness."
Faithful with a few things by the grace of God. By the grace of God, may I be faithful with many.
The week before Christmas I was presented with a job offer for the position I have interimed. It required a lot of thought and prayer. Both my husband and I spent a lot of time discussing what was best for our family. In the end, we came to the conclusion that I could not accept the position as offered. I stressed over this because I have such a strong committment to my staff and our clients. I truly felt the Lord had called me to that position, but at the same time I knew He had not called me to that particular offer. It was incredibly scary, but once I realized that I needed to accept the possibility that the job might not be mine and to trust in the Lord over the outcome, I was able to confidently maintain the position my husband and I had decided upon.
Never have I been so nervous. I had peace that the Lord would work through whatever would happen, but I wanted badly to be able to maintain my integrity and present my position in a professional manner as I negotiated different terms. As always (with prayer of others and faith) the Lord came through and allowed the talk with my superior to go well and I was able to accept the position on acceptable terms for both parties. I have now become responsible for an entire business...
Even as I write those words, I cannot fathom what they mean. The responsibility of my new position is overwhelming. Not overwhelming in a stressful way, but I can barely comprehend what it means. I'm not sure I am capable of comprehending it all. My life is about to change in a radical way. Is it a good change for me and my family? Will my career overwhelm my role as wife and mother? To be honest, I can answer the second question easily. My father may claim this is a 'theological' answer, but it is fact:
If I remain focused on the Lord, He will equip me to be the woman He has called me to be in all areas, professionally and personally. It isn't my job to figure out how. It is my job to simply remain humble and seek Christ first above all things. It is His job to equip me and lead me. I pray that I will remain faithful to Him.
Matthew 25:21
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness."
Faithful with a few things by the grace of God. By the grace of God, may I be faithful with many.
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