Prayer Journal

 Diaries and journals, things of girlhood that have followed me into my adult life.  They have been such a help.

In early elementary school I tried keeping a journal.  I never knew quite what to write and felt strange just recording my life for an unknown future generation.  Those entries are short and sporadic.

As a teenager, I began journaling to God.  It felt good to be writing to someone who was reading my words and actively caring about my cares of each day.

I have a box full of prayer journals now.  I prefer spiral bound, hard cover, with thick, lined paper.  I can still find them for less than $5 at Ross and sometimes Walmart.

My journal keeps me grounded.  I can vent my troubles, praise God for His answers to prayer, thank Him for His involvement that I recognize, but didn't necessarily ask for.  

On occasion, I go back and read through previous entries, and I can see how He has been working and where my attitude has been.  I can see where He has answered prayers in ways that I might not have recognized otherwise.  It helps me adjust my perspective and recognize patterns that might need changing.

My prayer journals increase the benefits of my walk of faith.  Writing my prayers keeps my mind focused on what I am saying to God and minimizes the bunny trails my thoughts can take me on when I am praying without pen and paper.

It especially helps me as a mom.  My kids interrupt my prayer time, and I can set down my pen and manage the current situation and return back to where I was to finish my conversation with God.

A few years ago, I was reading 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Always be joyful.  Never stop praying.  Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

After that, I usually start my prayer journal giving thanks for something, even when it might take me a bit to come up with something I can be thankful for.  It helps my attitude and keeps my heart humble towards God.

Failures (written last week and posted to be real)

 Tonight I fight the mom guilt, discouragement, and overwhelm.  

Today was disrespectful kiddo moments, a bug-ruined bell pepper in the garden, tummy troubles from something I ate, and mom guilt over my kids' emotions.  

I know I am not a bad mom, but when it feels my efforts are failing, guilt and discouragement comes easy, and the thought of not good enough hits harder.

I cope by spending my work night taking a much needed hot shower, taking it easy on the homeschool planning, reviewing my plans for grocery shopping tomorrow, and taking a little time for me to watch some brainless videos and listen to uplifting music.

Next I will go to bed.

Surprising

 I am truly surprised at how satisfying and fulfilling it is to grow your own food.  What started as a means to an end (feeding my family better), has accomplished so much more than ever imagined.

It is relaxing to spend time in the garden, inspecting the plants, caring for them and watching them grow and mature.

There is so much more involved in gardening than simply planting, watering, and harvesting.  There is bug identification (friend or foe?), plant diseases to watch out for and treat, pruning (knowing where, when and what to snip), all the various methods of supporting vertical growth to pack more into our space...

I was a bug catcher as a kid, so using my bug app on my phone to identify all the critters in our garden is fun.  We have California Glow Worms that look like tiny lightening bugs, parasitic wasps, lady bugs, leaf cutter bees, ants, leaf miners, cabbage moths, flea beetles and lots more that I can't remember the names of.

The kids love to help me water and end up soaked at least every other day.  They like to learn about the different bugs and see the food growing in the garden.  It was my baby this year, next year, now that I have a better idea of what is going on, I will involve them more in the process.

We have harvested a handful of strawberries, three cucumbers, radishes and one zucchini.  We still have at least two more months of harvesting to come!