Alone with God

I have never been able to perfect making time to be alone with God since my children were born.  It is a constant struggle and I have learned a lot on the way and still have more to learn.  I've learned a lot of what doesn't work.  :)

Right now I have been trying to read a chapter of Proverbs each night for the month, and in the mornings I read through a couple Psalms.  The morning time is such a struggle for me.  I've really felt like God has been asking me to set aside my time and make him more important than a few more minutes of sleep.  Jesus did it.  I can do it.  Mark 1:35 "Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed." NKJV  Many times the bible talks about Jesus seeking solitude to be with God. 

I set my alarm and I sit up in bed and read my Psalms...all the while my eyes are drooping and blinking and I struggle to pay attention to the words in front of me.  Then I can't close my eyes to pray or I will fall asleep again...Satan sure doesn't want me awake for this!  I think I will have to physically get out of bed and go somewhere else to read and pray in the quiet mornings.  I've been praying for God to guide me and I know that if I make the effort he will teach me and help me do better.

What are your favorite ways to have alone time with God?

New Drama

My heart is breaking tonight.  A loved one is hurting.  I know the Lord is working in this situation and will continue to do so.  All the same I want to be able to take the pain and confusion away.  I want to swoop in and save the day, to have all the right answers and make it all better.  I don't though.  I do what I can and hope it is enough for the moment.  It has to be because it is all I have.  I trust the Lord that he will provide each step of the way and that I am just one of the many who will follow his leading and be what this loved one needs in this situation.

As I always do, I took in the new information from this drama and took care of what needed to be done.  Then later, the emotions set in.  The sadness, the concern, the hurt for them.  All of them.  I trust that God has a plan for this situation just as he did for me and still does.  I pray that this situation brings all people involved into a deeper relationship with their Lord and Savior.  That they would allow this to grow them closer to Him and mature their faith.

Test Results and Faith Growth

I am learning and growing continuously in my faith.  The kids and I have made it to church a second week in a row and they are enjoying it and so am I!  Hopefully next week, my hubby will be able to join us.  He returned to work this week.  It is challenging for him and it is such a stressful environment.  Thankfully, he has a very understanding boss and co-workers.  We got the results of his blood work from his post-op check up.  Two tests returned normal and one test returned with elevated levels...but it could just be due to the fact that he is still healing from surgery.  The test checks for levels of cell damage, not necessarily cancer.  So we'll check it again in two weeks and the doctor expects levels to go down.  If not, we'll probably be in for another CT scan and more testing to see if cancer may have returned.  I'm not planning or thinking of that possibility much.  It is a road I will take when we get there, if we get there.

This week's sermon was on the importance of an individual alone time with God.  We read from Acts 20:13 and verses in context.  Our pastor emphasized the importance of living your faith and that people should be able to see from the life you live that you have a close walk with the Lord.  I enjoyed the reminder and the confirmation that faith in reality is important.  The whole purpose of this blog.  He also emphasized the importance of leaders being servants and not getting big-headed or proud, but serving in humility.   That is another thing I am learning through this process.  My prideful thoughts are decreasing and I feel like I am more meek and mild in my thinking than I used to be. 

I'm reading a chapter of my bible at night now and also in the morning.  I pray at both times and throughout the day.  It isn't very organized, and doesn't always take very long, but my perspective on life is changing.  I feel a change in my attitudes about things and in my choices that I make.  My awareness of the things of God has expanded and I don't feel like I pray once and then forget about God until I need him.  I feel his presence more than ever.