I recently changed shifts at work to the opening shift. This means I now get up before the sun. My oldest daughter blames me when she is tired/grouchy because I wake her up too early. Tonight I am tired enough to go to bed and sleep very well. I'm just avoiding it to finish listening to my pastor's most recent sermon. He has been gone a while, grieving the death of his son. It is good to hear him again, and to hear that his faith is just as strong, his gift of teaching the Word has not been hindered by his recent life experience.
The drama in my life seems to revolve around work. But there are things going on in the home front too, just not as stressful. My children are in swimming lessons on a weekly basis, and my husband and I are continuing to figure out how to work together and what our goals for our family are. When work is stressful it is hard to be present at home. When I am able to leave work on time and not work overtime, it is very nice. That is the perk of working the early shift! I come home well before supper time while it is still daytime and energy is still available.
A theatre camp is sharing the same building as my children's school. I got to go with them to see a dress rehearsal of the Sound of Music and later Alice in Wonderland. It was very well done and it is all done by children. My youngest is my performer and it was fun to watch the intensity on her face as she watched the play and took it all in. I could see that not only was she enjoying the story, but she was fascinated by the costumes, makeup, songs, and even the boy who played Captain Von Trapp...and we are no where near the teenage years yet!!! Oh, dear...I see the cuteness of this moment, but I also foresee a challenging future as a mother in this moment!
My oldest is having a better summer than last year. She has more peers her age this year and the teacher is much better at handling the cruelty children can throw around. I have been helping her capture creepy crawlies, although she has gone farther than I care to. She is catching moths and spiders in addition to the normal centipedes and roly poly bugs.
All in all, I am learning how to be WITH my family more. To be mentally present, physically present and to include them in my daily activities. My hubby and I are talking better and sharing on a more team level. My children and I are having more times together being ourselves. And I am praying to figure out how to stay close to the Lord and keep that relationship growing...thanks for reading. Have a wonderful night!
Friday, June 28, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
WITH...(update at the end)
God has been busy in my life and I can't always comprehend it all, I know He is working. It is incredibly complicated if I look at all the responsibilities and details in my life, and yet, wonderfully amazing when I look at how God is providing, teaching, and protecting.
As a woman after God's own heart: He is showing me that I need to be spending more time WITH Him, studying the Word, not just the daily readings that I do.
As a wife: He has been teaching me how to work WITH my husband and communicate better as we talk through our goals and dreams for our family, our home, and our future.
As a mom: He has been teaching me to spend time WITH my children, developing relationships and not just near them.
As a leader in a ministry that is also a business: He has been teaching me what I am not doing well and where to step up my efforts. One area is spending more time WITH my teachers, involved in their daily work and not just the work that piles on my desk.
As you can see, WITH is becoming a theme of growth in my life. I have always been content to be a follower. Content to be near others. Content to have just enough or almost enough. Content to be less than. It isn't always a good thing to be complacent and easy-going. I am learning to allow myself to be an assertive decision-maker, an active part of the events going on around me.
Update:
In my last post, I had just done the hardest thing I have ever done. While I felt God's perfect peace, it was hard to face the negativity and the petty comments. It was harder still not to know how it was received by my staff. Over the next two weeks, I began to see a bit of a change in attitudes and behaviors. When I walked through the building to talk to my staff, I noticed that many of them didn't know quite how to react to me anymore. Something had changed. It seemed a little bit better, but I wasn't sure. Last Friday was our full-day meeting. I had the normal business topics to discuss, but all I could think about was what God wanted me to bring for the devotion -the spiritual part of the day. It has become a habit that in preparing for those meetings I spend an increased amount of time in prayer and searching the Word of God for insight and guidance as to what topic to share with my staff. The night before our meeting I was again seeking the Lord to show me. He revealed that I didn't need to focus on just one topic, but if we used small groups to research a topic in each group, we could cover many of the important topics I was drawn to. I spend several hours reading the verses about 6 different character traits of living a godly life. At the meeting, I gave one topic and it's corresponding verses to each table. They were to look up and read the verses, discuss what they felt God was showing them in those verses and then present what they learned to the whole group. It was utterly amazing. I was simply a facilitator. I didn't preach. I didn't lecture. I let them speak and boy did God speak through them! Every point and every thing I would have lectured/preached about came out of their mouths and from their own hearts. I just sat back and listened.
And then the most amazing thing happened. At the final table's presentation, the speaker broke. God brought her to a place of brokenness. She shared her struggles and begged forgiveness for her failures. Most people probably had no clue what she was asking forgiveness for...but she did. God did. And that one person coming forth so humbly and so sincerely opened the door for the Holy Spirit to do an awesome work in the lives of each person there. After that others came forward to share what was on their hearts. Some shared wisdom, some shared frustrations with their coworkers. Some shared what God was doing in their lives through the ministry we work in. And when it was all over, it felt like we were given a breath of fresh air. The heaviness of the oppression we faced was gone. Our boss (my direct supervisor) came in to encourage and he really uplifted their spirits as well. God is good...that's all I can say.
As a woman after God's own heart: He is showing me that I need to be spending more time WITH Him, studying the Word, not just the daily readings that I do.
As a wife: He has been teaching me how to work WITH my husband and communicate better as we talk through our goals and dreams for our family, our home, and our future.
As a mom: He has been teaching me to spend time WITH my children, developing relationships and not just near them.
As a leader in a ministry that is also a business: He has been teaching me what I am not doing well and where to step up my efforts. One area is spending more time WITH my teachers, involved in their daily work and not just the work that piles on my desk.
As you can see, WITH is becoming a theme of growth in my life. I have always been content to be a follower. Content to be near others. Content to have just enough or almost enough. Content to be less than. It isn't always a good thing to be complacent and easy-going. I am learning to allow myself to be an assertive decision-maker, an active part of the events going on around me.
Update:
In my last post, I had just done the hardest thing I have ever done. While I felt God's perfect peace, it was hard to face the negativity and the petty comments. It was harder still not to know how it was received by my staff. Over the next two weeks, I began to see a bit of a change in attitudes and behaviors. When I walked through the building to talk to my staff, I noticed that many of them didn't know quite how to react to me anymore. Something had changed. It seemed a little bit better, but I wasn't sure. Last Friday was our full-day meeting. I had the normal business topics to discuss, but all I could think about was what God wanted me to bring for the devotion -the spiritual part of the day. It has become a habit that in preparing for those meetings I spend an increased amount of time in prayer and searching the Word of God for insight and guidance as to what topic to share with my staff. The night before our meeting I was again seeking the Lord to show me. He revealed that I didn't need to focus on just one topic, but if we used small groups to research a topic in each group, we could cover many of the important topics I was drawn to. I spend several hours reading the verses about 6 different character traits of living a godly life. At the meeting, I gave one topic and it's corresponding verses to each table. They were to look up and read the verses, discuss what they felt God was showing them in those verses and then present what they learned to the whole group. It was utterly amazing. I was simply a facilitator. I didn't preach. I didn't lecture. I let them speak and boy did God speak through them! Every point and every thing I would have lectured/preached about came out of their mouths and from their own hearts. I just sat back and listened.
And then the most amazing thing happened. At the final table's presentation, the speaker broke. God brought her to a place of brokenness. She shared her struggles and begged forgiveness for her failures. Most people probably had no clue what she was asking forgiveness for...but she did. God did. And that one person coming forth so humbly and so sincerely opened the door for the Holy Spirit to do an awesome work in the lives of each person there. After that others came forward to share what was on their hearts. Some shared wisdom, some shared frustrations with their coworkers. Some shared what God was doing in their lives through the ministry we work in. And when it was all over, it felt like we were given a breath of fresh air. The heaviness of the oppression we faced was gone. Our boss (my direct supervisor) came in to encourage and he really uplifted their spirits as well. God is good...that's all I can say.
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