Christmas Peace / Health Update

Christmas peace came a few days late this year.  The hub-bub of Christmas is over and now it feels like I can finally relax and find my footing again after working hard to make the day a special one for our family.  It seems like now I can appreciate the little things and just rest in His presence.  

I received the two books I was really hoping to get for Christmas.  They are all about getting myself organized.  I need it so badly.  My brain gets cluttered from so much going on in our day-to-day lives.  If I can get some of the clutter out of my head and onto some paper, I hope to be more productive and efficient...or at least feel like I am.

My little guy and I saw a nutritionist for the first time.  Food restrictions never seem like a big deal until I realize how many foods I eat have that food as an ingredient.  It was an interesting appointment.  We had some of the same foods and some very different ones that tested as problematic for us.  I tested poorly with olives (aka olive oil) and vinegars.  He tested poorly for white rice and most other grains as well as honey.  We both tested poorly for tomatoes, blueberries, cane sugar, and bananas.  I tested fine for milk proteins, but not milk sugars.  He tested poorly for all dairy.

He tested for an overgrowth of bad bacteria in his gut.  I tested super low for progesterone with weakness in my liver and adrenals. Yay me.  So we both have some new supplements to support our body's needs.

Thankfully, we can both still eat potatoes.  There is an avocado oil chip we can still enjoy, but everyone has to hide the ketchup bottle from him, and I won't be buying bananas any time soon.  A big bummer.  We both love bananas.  I was able to make a grocery list for this week of approved suppers, but I need to do some more research again to find recipes that will accommodate our new adjustments.

I'm looking forward to feeling better and healing my body, but the process will not be fun.  Thankfully I have this week to work on things before our Christmas break is over.  I'm going to do my best to make the most of it!

Finding our Rhythm

 We had a relaxing Thanksgiving break and took a full two weeks off from school, one for the holiday and one for a birthday.  Amazingly our jump back into a full school schedule has been really smooth this week.

We are learning to adjust to the chaos of living through a remodel.  We were able to refinance our home with the lower interest rates available and use some of our home equity to finish our basement too.  It is coming along nicely and I'm looking forward to finally having our home complete and able to organize and fully unpack our things.  I haven't had a true office space for my school things for two years now!

Christmas preparations are also underway.  The kids took over the decorating and although I felt a little put out by not getting to decorate my own home, I know someday they will be grown and I will have all the decorating to do myself and then I will miss their crazy ideas and decorations.  They begged for outdoor lights this year, so I bought a strand of lights that we used to decorate our tiny front yard tree.  It compliments our other simple decorations from last year and they were quite pleased.

Our shopping is nearly complete and it feel so good to have that stress done and over with.  We've been able to relax and spend our time focusing on other more important things.  All of our normal extended family gatherings have been cancelled and I'm enjoying the peacefulness of keeping the focus here at home.

We've been reading our "Shepherd on the Search" devotional each evening and I've started teaching my littles about the nativity story of Jesus' birth.  It just feels like we're beginning to find our rhythm and how to live well together in this season of life.  

Holiday Break!

Happy Thanksgiving!  It feels like an effort this year to think of specifics to be thankful for.

Yes, the Lord has blessed me in many ways.  I'm in a place where I am feeling a little detached emotionally...that's the best description I can come up with right now.  If I listed all those blessings, it would feel more robotic than sincere heart-felt thanks, even though I appreciate them all.

I am most grateful for the time I have with my children at home, the opportunity I have to reach them and pour into their lives.  I am grateful for the few hours of sleep I do get vs. lamenting the hours I don't get.  I am grateful to have a break from the normal routines, and I hope/pray that I have a chance to find my footing again before it ends.

I'm realizing in my wise-older-age...nearing 40...everyone has their struggles.  It doesn't matter who you are.  We all have our struggles.  Comparisons don't do any good, we're all just people doing the best we can with what we have.  I'm thankful for what I have and happy for others for what they have.

God's Call. Missions. Living for Him.

Sometimes I wonder to myself, what is God doing in my life?  

I have been trying to focus my perspective on Him more than ever before, it is hard to do with the many distractions of daily life sometimes.  And at the same time, it is even more so important to focus on Him because of this busy season of life.

My first desire for my future self that I can remember (aside from playing mommy), was to become a missionary and care for others.  It never was a "career goal" because I didn't know how that worked.  We've been reading a lot of missionary stories in school and I like pulling out the different character traits (strengths and flaws) of the missionaries and the ways that God works with those and around them sometimes.

I reflect on my life and where I am now.  My career passion was and still is children and their families.  Except I don't have a desire to go back to the early childhood career path.  I love where I am now in the chaos and busyness of motherhood. 

Mission work is anywhere and everywhere God leads.  He has led me home, and home is my mission field.  Caring for my husband, striving to be a godly wife and the example we as a couple are to those around us.  Raising and schooling our children, focusing on character building and the skills and challenges each faces.  Our impact on our little neighborhood as a family with our interactions and behavior.  

Not to say that any of this is done with perfection by any means.  In fact, many times I teach -and most often learn through my many failures and I pray for humility to be the wife and mother, the woman of God that I am called to be.

Rough Times Require Adjustments

 Being the mom, the homemaker, the cook, the wife, the jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none...

I've been realizing too slowly that I need to make some adjustments to be able to manage this season of life.  I need to take more time for me, to take care of me.  I need to take charge and make the structure happen that I need for our family life to function.

I've been praying about decisions and where/what God wants me to cut or adjust.  Firstly, I had to start going to bed earlier.  I hate going to bed without my hubby, but in this season, our needs are different.  He's hurting too badly to lay down for an entire night.  I'm up early with our littles and sometimes throughout the night too.  I'm not functioning without enough sleep.

School has been stressful too.  I hear a lot of complaining throughout the day and I need to nip it in the bud.  I have been praying to be able to discern what complaints are sincerely areas I need to address and which complaints I need to correct my children for.  I find that I inadvertently enable my kids to complain when I provide a listening ear without a careful discerning of the reality of the situation.

Health & Nutrition is another biggie.  One of my worst areas of stress.  Our family has so many individual special food needs/limitations that I have trouble finding the items we need at one store.  Lately I've been shopping 3-5 stores, even with pick-up orders it is a lot to manage.  I've really been praying hard about what items we might cut or switch to try and decrease the shopping stress.

And lastly, finding time to care for me.  I got my hair cut finally, something I've been wanting to do for about a month now.  I like the shorter length and almost wish I would have tried it a bit shorter.  Tonight was my "work night" for getting school curriculum stuff done, but I treated myself to a warm bath first and then focused on our school routine for tomorrow and tweaked it to include some recess time and structured my day to hopefully allow it to flow better.  Self care is self preservation. :0)

The priorities I have listed on the refrigerator also help me to remember what is most important:

God, Marriage, Family, Home, School.  

When they aren't focused on in the correct order, things start to fall apart, and I could insert a small little "me" between God and Marriage at times, because if I don't take care of me, I can't take care of anyone else either.  Balance is the key, and knowing where the little line where self care changes to selfishness makes a huge difference!  Staying in tune with God keeps my focus on the right things in the right ways.

Ugh.

We've been homeschooling nearly 5 years now.  I like to think I have it all together, and I have learned a lot in how to homeschool.  But today was the biggest bust of a day I've had in a long while.  And it was the first in a long time that I had very little influence in how it went.

Last week we had our first week-long break of the year.  I spent last night planning what I thought would be a smooth transition back into school.  We were going to do an easy science lab in the morning and a short history lesson in the afternoon.  Just two subjects.  Easy, right?

The day started out great.  We had a short study of what Rosh Hoshannah is and what Yom Kippur is.  My preschooler dressed himself and helped make his bed without complaint.  All good!

Then it fell apart.  Somehow, the easy lab resulted in huge stress and a terrible attitude from one of my kiddos, who very vocally and physically displayed her emotions concerning the horrible experience it was.  Not fun for me to deal with, but it was dealt with and we pushed through, I wasn't going to let a bad attitude get out of doing the work.

I let everyone have a short break before we started our history.  My preschooler refused to do any activities he was allowed to do on his own.  He wanted my attention and a playmate.  I got him settled and started our last chapter of our read aloud book for history.  Enter in 3-5 interruptions from him and his brother, so I put my littlest down for a nap and got my preschooler finally quieted.  We finished our chapter and the doorbell rings loudly.  Not once, but twice in a row.  Election years are the worst for solicitors!  

So, now we had a cranky baby after a too-short nap.  I realized that the history lesson that I had planned just wasn't going to happen, so I set my older kiddos up for a historical movie from the WW2 time frame (Sound of Music!), and tried to play with my littles.  Turns out, not only is my littlest tired, but he is teething with molars coming in.  Nothing we tried helped until I gave him and his brother a bath.  It was the first smiles I had seen from him since his failed nap.

Finally, it was time to start supper and I realize that the sink was full of dishes, and I had a chicken to clean.  No one's fault other than the dishwasher didn't release the soap the first time it was run, so we couldn't do lunch dishes like we normally do and then we forgot about them.  

It was the last straw for me.  I felt myself shutting down and called my hubby up and asked him for help (he had just finished work).  He took over with the kids and my girls helped do the dishes.  Then I told everyone I wasn't there and to talk to Daddy if they needed help.

Nothing I planned worked today.  Nothing I planned was necessarily poor planning, it was just one of those really bad, horrible, no good days.  Thankfully these kinds of days are few and far between.  Tomorrow is a new day, and God willing, it will go better.

Friendship

 My hubby and I are homebodies and content to be that way.  We are both introverts.  Friends are fairly non-existent because we have each other and our family.  We are both wholly devoted to our family, and don't really have the time or energy anyway for socializing.

I don't really have to say it, but we haven't minded the social distancing part of the Covid Pandemic.

I frequently have heard on Christian radio and in some bible studies how important friendships are.  I've never been concerned with it and told God so.  I told Him that if friendships were truly important, He would have to bring them to me because I was content with where I was and not sure if it was something necessary for me.

He put a friend in my life, just before my youngest was born.  We are both homeschooling moms.  Our kids hit it off at a Homeschool Park Day and begged for more time together.  I offered my phone number first, and we set up a play date at another park without all the other homeschooling families.  Safe, simple, and fun for the kiddos.  I wasn't looking for a friend.  In fact, because I had a preschooler, I spent a lot of the time with him rather than chatting with her.  I was pregnant and she had just had a baby earlier that year.  Both of us had a large gap between the ages of our older children and younger children.

Our kids begged for more and more time together.  I offered some play dates where the kids could meet up without me because it was difficult for me to get around being hugely pregnant, but she turned them down saying she'd rather get together when we would have time to chat.

The first time we had a play date at her home, I was petrified of having to spend a couple hours alone with her in her home, not knowing what we would talk about.  We still barely knew each other and if you can imagine it, she is less talkative than I am.  We still have awkward moments, but neither of us has given up and have had many play dates at both of our homes and nearby parks.

With Covid, we are nearing 6 months of no play dates.  The kids have done some zoom-type conversations together and she and I text each other now and again.  Still awkward, but for some reason God has put her and her family into our lives.

School Chaos

This school year didn't get started off well, but we are finding our footing.  Last year we started slowly, doing one subject the first week and adding another subject each subsequent week until we had our full load up and running.  It worked great.  

This year, the pressure of wanting to do high school well got to me.  We tried doing it all and it was too much too fast.  Just plain overwhelming.

Too many new curriculums to learn and self-imposed perfectionism caused some tears and frustration for the kiddos.  So we took a step back and are taking things more slowly, but not quite as slowly as last year.

It's only been 3 days of school, but if today reflects future school days, I think this will be a good year. 

Our first theme for our "Together Time" is Worship.  We've been doing morning clean up together and as we work, we use YouTube playlists to worship.  It's been a wonderful start to our mornings!  It's a priority this year to try and place God at the center of our lives, to bring our mundane routines into His presence and live our lives with Him.

Covid Slump and a bit of Hope

We've been in a slump for our day to day life.  It's been too hot to go outside and easy to get lazy inside.  Quarantine has gotten long and lonely, especially for the kiddos.  They've done some video chats with their friends and youth group, but we are some of the few who are still quarantining strictly.  We've only visited with family members since this whole thing started back in March.

My hubby's job is pretty awesome.  They have been paying their employees despite missed hours due to Covid illness and they aren't taking their employee's PTO to do it.  They track how much they are paying this way and the numbers are increasing again.  Which means that the amount of pay being paid to employees with the Covid illness is increasing due to increased number of sick employees.

People in public seem to have forgotten Covid, or at least want to forget about it.  Our governor mandated masks for 30 days.  Prior to the mandate, masks were becoming less common.  Now people are wearing them again, but many not correctly and often haphazardly.

I see many posts about how masks are useful and others that state they are ineffective.  Now they have become an object of political unrest and controversy about whether or not we are being herded and controlled by those in power.

In all honesty, I don't know what to think about it all.  I wish it would go away.  I want to be able to take my kids to the park and on a vacation.  I want to be able to have play dates and field trips.

Some interesting news about Covid though....my hubby's arthritis doctor says that they have been studying how people on Humira and Enbrel react to Covid and the outlook is positive.  They have shown that due to their suppressed immune systems, they are not  getting as severe symptoms  because healthy people's immune systems have been attacking their own bodies with Covid.  Enbrel and Humira are both immuno-suppressants.

My hubby is on a different medication than those listed, but it gives a little bit of hope that if he does have to fight Covid, he may have a good chance of making it since Covid won't have a strong immune system to betray him with.  I don't know exactly how it all works, but a little hope is always nice.

Time to Reflect

Now that our baby is a year old, we've gotten him and his brother into a bedtime routine and I actually have my "work" nights to myself instead of sharing my time with my baby.  It gives me more time to think.  Life with an infant is so demanding, I'd forgotten what it was like to be able to let my mind just wander and follow the rabbit trails it finds.

Tonight I organized two boxes of school work (from the year we moved) into permanent portfolios for the kids.  It was neat to see all the activities and topics we covered that year before our fourth child was born.  I was a little amazed at all we accomplished.  Hopefully I feel the same way after filing away this past school year's work.

I've also had the time to ponder more on the cancer updates from my sister about my dad's health.  He is still going through the "what ifs" of possibilities until all the tests are complete and true answers are revealed.  What we know is that the cancer is there and when we find out all the details, then decisions will be made for moving forward.  Options have been discussed, and boy, do I remember the agony of the wait.

Discussing options, feelings, desires, and fears.  Not knowing for sure, hoping for the best and fearing my hopes will not be met.  I wish I lived closer to my family.  I want to go see them.  I'd love to bring all of my own "little" family.  But timing, COVID, and uncertainty about what my dad will be up for makes it hard to figure out.  So, as with so many things, we wait for answers so decisions can be discussed and made at that time.

Our world is also in utter chaos.  It seems so apparent that Christ's return is soon coming.  Cities are actually defunding their police departments.  My own state just passed a law with new rules and regulations...I'm not sure how good or bad the law is.  The devil is preying on our fears and our differing opinions and having a grand old time exploiting them.  I don't watch much news, but the news I do see is simply unbelievable. 

Ready for school!

We finally completed our curriculum shopping for this coming school year.  It took hours and hours of research, letting my kids preview and give their input and then running the financial cost options past my hubby.

Here are our choices for the year (9th and 7th grades):

Language Arts: a mix of writing lessons (essays, research papers, story writing) and literature studies from 7sistershomeschool.com, along with grammar/vocab/dication using the McGuffey readers.

Math:  CTCmath.com, found a decent deal online at homeschoolbuyersco-op.com  We're at the pre-algebra level, but they will have the kids each take an assessment test and then tell them which lessons they need to start with.  We'll have access to all math lessons from K-12 grades, so they can move along at their own pace and skill level.

History: American History.  We'll be doing an eclectic mix of living books and lessons from the America's Story 3 (masterbooks.com) and the free online program at allinonehomeschool.com.  We've already covered early American history, so this year we're focusing on WW2 to present day.

Science: High school courses are expensive, can you say sticker shock?!  Especially since many require microscopes and lab supplies.  We decided to go with Devotional Biology DVDs from compassclassroom.com, which comes with videos of all the labs, so that we can view labs without purchasing a microscope.  Then we'll assess if they need more hands-on experiences and might purchase the pricey lab kit later.  This particular biology course comes from a creation standpoint and teaches how God has displayed his character in his creation.  Both kids loved the sample lesson and said the instructor was both funny and very interesting.

Foreign Language: Duolingo.  (free!) We've been doing this program for a couple years now.  One kiddo is learning French and the other is learning Spanish.  Side note: It is a secular program and has some influences there such as translating sentences that talk about "Her wife". 

Electives:  My freshman is interested in possibly getting into veterinary medicine after high school so she'll be taking Apologia's Health and Nutrition course.  It has beautiful pictures and to-the-point chapters.  She's super excited about this class.  It was a splurge for us, but looks to be a quality program with lots of good reviews. 

She's also doing a unit study from 7sistershomeschool.com called "Career Exploration".  It guides kids in how to explore careers they are interested in and what to do to learn more about those careers.  She specifically asked to learn about careers in high school, so I was thrilled to get this one at 50% discount!

Math Shopping!

Shopping for curriculum is a blast!  At least once I figure out what to buy.  I've been researching curriculum choices for next year.  It has taken me months and I'm still not done.  Usually I have everything purchased by now.  Part of it is lack of free time, and the other part is that I am trying really hard to make wise choices for our first year of high school.

Math is a big challenge!  I have one child who picks up math concepts quickly and one child who struggles.  We are getting into higher math and the lessons are becoming more difficult and extremely time consuming.  Our current curriculum just isn't working for us anymore.

So, in my research I found an awesome program that was a bit pricey, but more affordable than others.  It came with an instructor with a PhD and online lessons I wouldn't have to teach.  I showed it to my girls.  They hated it. They said his voice was too annoying and they couldn't stand it.

I tried another one that I thought might be an acceptable curriculum.  One loved it the other hated it.

Today, we looked at another curriculum.  It teaches to both the visual and the auditory learners.  My struggling mathematician thought it was exactly what she needed.  My quick-learner was interested in learning more about it.  We're going to do a two-week free trial and then decide.  If it works for us, not only does it have a lot to offer, but it will do most of the teaching for me so that I will have more time to teach other kiddos while they are doing math!

Moments are Precious

Life is...

busy.  messy.  chaotic.  ever-changing.

fun. challenging. stressful.  crazy.

wonderful. unique. a gift.

The day is winding down and night is beginning.  The house is opened up to allow the cool evening breeze flow through.  I hear the crickets and my daughters quiet chatter as they head to bed.  The noisy chaos of the daytime has lulled into a hushed stillness.  The boys are calm and sleeping.

My thoughts wander through the day's events.  Grocery shopping with my mask and hand sanitizer.  I miss making it an outing with my children.  Trying to balance playtime with my sons and still accomplishing some laundry.  I've been trying to prepare for moving our boys into the same room together as I work.  Cooking supper with a daughter as my sous chef.  My distracted brain resulted in a tasty dinner, but not the one I originally planned to make.  Enjoying a new movie with my girls for our weekly 'girls night'.

I look around and see a lone, empty hamper in the middle of my living room.  It is surrounded by haphazardly strewn about baby toys.  In one corner of the room is a pile of hangers, so quickly pulled down off a stool from where I had been working on folding laundry by my littlest.

Three kiddos was busy.  Four is distractedly so.  In part due to their ages, but I often wonder how I ever accomplish anything.  With all the busyness of the day, the important things cannot be seen, only remembered.

A soft touch from my hubby.  Smiles brought on by watching my youngest walk from one end of the kitchen to the other while shaking maracas in both hands.  He really had to use his balance carefully not to fall down!  Giggles and glee from my older son learning to wash his hair under the shower stream at bath time.  My younger daughter snuggling close during the movie and leaning in during a cliffhanger scene.  My oldest pondering life and asking which of her drawings I like best.  Text conversations with my family.  Life is made full with such things.  None of the tasks or accompishments I work towards fulfill life in the same way as time spent with those I love.

Cancer

May 13, 2020.  Wednesday.  The day I learned my father has cancer.

Here we are again.  Facing that dreaded word.  I was thankful he called to talk to me personally about it.  I wish I could have been more encouraging or comforting.  My practicality pushed aside my emotions and I took the news rather well, I think.

Our shared faith in the one, true God is a foundation of peace and comfort with news like this.  Even without fully realizing the ramifications of a cancer diagnosis, he and I both know and discussed that God's hand is in this and His will be done.

My thoughts swirl around.  I'm not buried in them, but they are there.  I return to the early posts of this blog when I went through cancer with my hubby.  I remember the emotions and the fears.  The hours of researching and the amount of energy and time my emotions and thoughts consumed.

I remember the lessons I learned through that experience.  I wish I had a book I could hand my parents and tell them, "This is everything you need to know and understand to make it through cancer."  But, alas, no such book exists and none ever will.  Each individual must learn their own lessons in their own way.  My experiences and lessons may comfort or encourage.  There may even be a light-bulb breakthrough here and there, but my parent's journey of faith by trial will be theirs.  A valuable, refining fire like no other.  They will emerge, hopefully with a stronger, deeper faith.

Christians vs Israelites

My bible reading as been in Ezra and Nehemiah lately.  Israel is slowly returning from Babylon to rebuild the walls around the city.  It occurred to me today that the culture, the way of life for Israelites was centered and founded on their faith and religious beliefs.

I've often pondered how Jewish people have kept their culture and their beliefs in the midst of being immersed in other cultures and societies as they have been scattered throughout the world away from their home.

As Christians, we are often able to relate to Israel's stubbornness and repeated failures in their walk with the Lord.  We have similar moments and mistakes as they did.

But the lightbulb hit this morning that everything they do, their cultural norms and expectations back then were very much built upon the foundations of their faith.  Sabbaths, traditions and rituals that they followed permeated their entire way of living.

How closely can we relate to them in that way?  How much of our lives have we built centered around worship and pleasing our Lord and Savior?  What precedent to we give to God in our everyday normal lives?

Definitely something to ponder and reflect upon.  I pray God impresses on your heart His desires for you and leads you closer to Him!

Quarantine Changes

Today is the first shopping trip that I have seen a decent supply of toilet paper on the shelves.  It wasn't as much as what used to be normal, but they weren't completely bare this time.  I think we are adapting to our situation better now, finding new routines and new habits.

Being home-schoolers, we are naturally home more often than most people, but we aren't home this often.  Everyone misses getting out to visit friends.  I miss our local library and shopping just for fun.  I am beginning to miss hair salons and other places like the eye doctor, dentist, and our new natural care center providers.  Those places are all closed except for emergencies right now.

In the bigger city, I would guess around 60-75% of people are wearing masks and practicing social distancing.  Locally, it is less than that even though we've had cases of COVID-19 here in our little town.  My goal has been to buy enough for 2 weeks so I don't have to go out more often than that, but so far I have had to go out each week for something or another.  Mainly it is for staples like butter and our almond milk.  Those things the online stores are completely sold out of or won't sell online, forcing people to go in and get them in person.  My newest discovery is hand soap is one of those items.  I shopped locally today and neither of the two stores we have had any in stock at all.  We have dish soap and body wash, so those will have to suffice for now.

The kids have also changed some of their wants.  We got them Styrofoam airplanes for Easter and a plastic racquetball set.  They play with those things a lot!  My oldest bought herself a pair of roller blades and now her sister has just gotten a pair that they both pitched in to purchase.  I bought a cheap foam football with kickstand that they are super excited to play with outside.  Little things they might never have been as interested in before we were stuck at home.

We've also been without a microwave for the past week.  A royal pain in the rear.  It isn't quarantine related other than we haven't called a repair man yet.  My hubby is going to try to figure it out this weekend.  I know many people don't cook with them anymore, but warming up leftovers is new to me and challenging when almost everyone in the family is heating their own individual food choice vs all of us eating the same food.  I miss my mug cakes.  I can still make a double batch for the stove top, but I haven't perfected the technique yet.

I have had sneezing fits like allergy sufferers for the past two months now.  I can't seem to connect a cause for them yet, but it is driving me bonkers.  Antihistamine pills temporarily resolve it completely, but they cause my little guy to have reflux because they are all created with corn starch in them and artificial dyes.  I use essential oils and they reduce the frequency of my sneezes.  I sneeze mainly in the mornings, it's like lying down all night just causes gunk to collect in my sinuses and gravity starts pulling it back down and tickles my nose when I get up in the morning. 

These are just some random thoughts of how the quarantine is effecting our family.  I have trouble imagining life returning to the way it was before, somehow I don't think it will.  This experience is going to change our way of life even after the quarantine is over.

Living History

For school, we are listening to the book: Diary of Anne Frank: A Young Girl.  We talked about some of the ways that Anne's life in hiding parallels our life of quarantine inside our homes.  Thankfully we can still enjoy the outdoors and I can go grocery shopping, but life has changed so much in such a short time frame.  Normally I would order a bunch of books from our local library system, but now I am learning how to use e-books, YouTube, and other audible book websites to supplement our school curriculum plans.

A friend of ours had a birthday this week.  How disappointing it must be to not be able to have a party with friends.  We sent him a gift via amazon and made a little video that we texted over to his mom's phone.  She sent a picture of him beaming with his gift -he didn't know it was coming so it was a fun surprise for him!  We have a birthday coming next month and are hoping that a party will be do-able.

Easter is next week.  We're supposed to have snow that day and we'll watch service online as usual.  We spent less on candy and focused more on gifts the kids could use and enjoy here at home.  I bought a turkey for a nice big meal.  Poultry is difficult to find lately, so I bought what I could, and whole bird seems to be what there is most of in the stores.

I can't order our almond milk from the stores since it is a "high demand" item.  I have to physically go in to see if they have it in stock and buy some.  Shopping has become a chore rather than a relaxing escape from the house.  I no longer bring a purse, instead I put my ID and debit card in my pocket.  In my other pocket, I keep my little spray hand-sanitizer.  I wear my hair pulled back and a homemade face mask.  In stores, people try to avoid each other.  About half of them are wearing masks and half are not.  I don't take any of my children with me so I have to go shopping when the timing works best to leave the baby at home.

When I get home, I don't enter the house until I have delivered all the groceries (one of my kids carries the bags from the door to the counter).  Then when I get into the house, I remove all outer clothing and drop it in the washing machine.  I run to the shower and wash in as hot of a shower that I can stand.  Then I start the tedious task of wiping all of my grocery items down with cleaner and  putting them away.  It takes forever.  I even wash all my produce before putting it away.  I've been trying to do two weeks of shopping at a time, but it is hard when I can't find all the items I need for the meals I plan.  I've started shopping to keep ingredients on hand verses specific meals planned.  I couldn't get Chili Powder this past weekend.  Chili powder.  Seriously?  Why does anyone need to stock up on that?  Luckily, I can make my own taco seasoning using an AIP recipe that doesn't call for any chili powder.  I just can't make chili until I get some more.

We are loving having my hubby home.  We've figured out a better routine and how to work with his schedule and our schooling needs.  On nice weather days, he joins us for a walk midday and we all love that time outdoors together.  We try to get outside twice a day.  I hope you are finding new rhythms to your days at home too. :0)

God is Bigger than the Boogie Man

Life has suddenly changed drastically, but not just for me in my own little world.  For everyone around the world!

I am thankful to be a stay home mom already.  Thankful to already be homeschooling my kiddos.  Thankful my hubby's job can be done from home, although even he is seeing changes in his job as everything has been affected.  God has provided for us thus far and we continue to depend on the Lord for our futures.

I don't know what is worse.  The COVID-19 or the fear that is sweeping across the nation.  When the news first broke about a new virus, I didn't give it much thought.  Then people started talking about wearing masks in public and I thought it was silly.  Then it got more serious and the government started closing schools and imposing travel bans, and the numbers on the media went up and up.  That's when I started believing it just might be something I had to pay more attention to.

Going shopping last week was like stepping into our recent history study of the Great Depression.  Shelves were empty and bare.  Finding food to buy and bring home to my family was a little more challenging.  In some instances, our special dietary needs were a good thing and in others, not so great.

We often spend several days at home without going out, but knowing it isn't as much a choice anymore as it is wise makes it harder.  Our church still does online services thankfully, and they provided a coloring sheet for the kiddos.  We cancelled our well-visits with the pediatrician and didn't make an appointment for our son's pictures this month...I think I will try to do them myself at home.

We postponed our basement remodel, not for fear of getting sick, but for the wisdom of not spending our savings until we know what is going to happen to our economy.  I saw toilet paper for sale online for $75 for a package of 18 rolls!  Thankfully, the news says that companies are starting to do something about price gauging.

I'm not an expert on eschatology and yet, I ponder in my little head the ways that this virus has impacted us on a global front, and how it may tie into God's plans for the return of Jesus Christ and the upcoming Tribulation period.  God works all things to the good those who love Him and according to His will.  I trust that He knows all that we will see in this lifetime and endure.  I trust that He's still all powerful, still all-knowing, and continues to love us as only He can.  I rest in those facts and have peace in the midst of this ever-changing world we live in.

I'm avoiding going to bed.  Have you ever done that?  Of course, what a silly thing to ask.  Grin.

My hubby avoids going to bed because he doesn't sleep well, wakes up stiff and in pain,  and has to go back to work in the morning.  Pretty good reasons if you ask me.

Me?  I'm just not tired enough and I don't want to lie there just thinking when I still have the brain power to be somewhat productive.  There are too many things on my list of responsibilities to waste time going to bed on time.  Now that just sounds funny.

I've been busy working on my grocery list and menu plan for the upcoming week.  I've gotten so much better at planning suppers.  It is all the snacks and other meals during the day that I struggle with being grain free.  It is so hard because I'm not just grain free, but coconut free, pear free, legume free, dairy free, soy free, chocolate free, etc.

I have found some go-to snacks that are shelf stable so I don't always have to have a meat or fruit (I do eat veggies, but not for snacks).  Rx Bars so far seem to be safe.  I've only had a couple to try out so I'm not sure yet.  I did find that I really enjoy the Maple Sea Salt flavored one.  I also can eat Sweet Potato chips and Plantain chips, so those are always on my grocery list.  I can make my own dried apple chips, but it takes several hours for just a few servings so I don't have a lot of them.

I found a good substitute for ice cream.  Freezing bananas and blueberries makes for a tasty dessert that has a similar texture as ice cream once frozen and blended smooth.  And I found a mug cake that works with Cassava flour...my new favorite bread-like textured recipe!  Cassava flour is similar to a wheat flour texture, not quite as fluffy, but I can make a good pancake out of it, and they are delicious with blueberry butter!

It's interesting.  In going grain free, I have also inadvertently cut out most refined sugars and that has made a big difference too.  I feel much better without sugars.

And on the super plus side of the food struggles, we finally have 3 safe solid foods!  Apples, sweet potatoes and butternut squash!  That's a cause for celebration!

Food: Love-Hate Relationship.

Food intolerances are quite frustrating.  My second little "TEDling" (Total Elimination Diet) is very different from his older brother when it comes to food intolerances.  We've tried six solid foods now?

Bananas (constipation, sleep disruptions)
Pears (constipation, sleep disruptions)
Carrots (constipation, sleep disruptions)
Oats (eczema rash)
Green Beans (rash and acidic diapers)
Sweet Potatoes (reflux...but possibly due to the grain-free transition?)

With the sweet potatoes I had just gone "grain-free", so I'm not sure if the reflux symptoms were due to the potatoes or the change in my diet.  I'm suspecting that coconut is an issue for us, but I can't be sure until I eliminate it and try it later.  Currently he hasn't had sweet potato in over a week and he is still having some reflux symptoms.

It's hard because I feel like we are going backwards.  We were doing pretty well until we started solids. Now I just don't know, so I am going to scale back to the foods on our diet known to be the least allergenic.  There is still a chance that something not as well known to be a trigger is bothering him, but I am hoping to find a baseline.  It bothers me that he is 8 months old and doesn't have any solid food meals yet, although I read that solid foods for breastfed babies is more for the experience until the first birthday.

Seeking

In a recent sermon, our Pastor talked of seeking the Lord actively.  It's nothing new to me, I've heard it all before, but I heard God's voice emphasizing Pastor's words in me.  I want to seek the Lord.  I want the passion that I've seen in others where they just can't get enough of Jesus.

I have never been that way.  I want to know Him better, have that deeper relationship, and find that confidence in faith that others seem to have so easily.  My faith ebbs and flows.  It is a firm faith, a steady faith, but not that passionate faith others often speak of.

So if you think of me, you can pray for me, that I will put seeking God first and make those better choices.  I don't think having that passionate fervor for the Lord is what I necessarily need; I just want to value Him more than the little things that I allow to take away His time with me.  And I will pray the same for you. :)

New Year, Re-newed Motivations

January feels like spring cleaning season to me.  The excitement of the holidays and Christmas has passed and it is time to pack up the decorations and get back to normal life.  Rearranging and organizing and then re-organizing always energizes me.  My main priorities are seeing re-newed energy from me in getting our routines and daily living hammered out into a workable lifestyle.

I'm working on feeding my family well.  Hubby and I are adapting our diet to be more anti-inflammatory and lower carbs/sugars. I spend a lot of time cooking these days.  Often at least an hour in the kitchen.  I haven't mastered being a chef by any means, but I have developed many new skills and am starting to learn shortcuts to help me do things more efficiently.  My newest short-cut is a food chopper.  No more crying from the onions and I can hand the chopping off to one of the kids to help me too.

Our homeschool routine got revamped and we are tweaking our subjects to fit into a Unit Study format so that all of my kiddos can participate in learning at their own levels.  It is helping us to be more productive with our learning time.

I'm also in the process of viewing an online video recording of a recent High School Seminar so I can learn what I need to do to successfully graduate my oldest...she's almost a high-schooler!  It seems so odd to say that, but it is true!  I'll be logging hours, creating transcripts and all that fun jazz next year.

I'm considering going to a Total Elimination Diet for my little guy.  We'll see how the next couple weeks go.  He has had some really bad diapers lately and I think I need to cut out most grains if not all of them for a period of time to see what else might be triggering him.  I hate to do it for my own selfish desires of enjoying food and I hate to have to do it because it means he is struggling, and I am concerned with how old he is and the fact that he doesn't have any safe foods yet.

Being Ready

A frequent thought on my mind lately is my loved ones who don't follow Jesus.  I've been praying for them a lot lately.  Our world is quickly falling deeper into chaos and sin, His return is coming soon and I can feel it deep within my heart.

Bible prophesy doesn't mention the United States in the end times.  But we won't be able to support Israel when they are attacked.  Watching our country become more and more divided makes me wonder what is to come that prevents the US from being involved in that battle.  The pieces are mostly in place and we are simply waiting on God's timing.

Watching and being ready, isn't simply standing back and passively letting things happen around us.  God has called us to be actively anticipating His soon return.  It's something I have been pondering lately.