Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Delivery Options

The appointment to do the membrane sweep was a bust.  The doctor did another quick ultrasound to check on measurements and the baby continues to grow, potentially already 9-10 pounds, still meeting the estimation of 10.5 pounds as guessed in our previous ultrasound.

The doctor was very concerned that a natural delivery would be too risky for the baby and potentially my own health.  She was open about all the options, and the choice was up to us ultimately...but hearing the risks, we are going to stay safe and agreed to do a C-section rather than risk harm to myself or the baby.  No membrane sweep, because baby still is developing through the 39th week and they prefer not to do a C-section before that timeframe unless I do go into labor on my own.

These were the possibilities the doctor gave us:

1.  Ultrasounds are not perfect and can be up to 20% off in either direction -meaning that the baby could be a larger 8 pound baby up to 11 pounds at birth.  If on the bigger size, that is where the risk comes in.

2.  Baby could deliver naturally if on the smaller size, but from feeling him in my belly and the ultrasounds, the doctor doubts this possibility.  Plus when she checked me, his head was in the pelvis, but she could push it in and out due to the high amount of fluid, he may not descend as needed to do a natural delivery.

3.  If on the bigger side, baby could get stuck in the birth canal.  That is where the risk comes in for shoulder dystocia.  Meaning his head might deliver fine, but the shoulders and/or abdomen get stuck.
If that should happen, that is when the risks start adding up quickly.  Once the head is delivered, the umbilical cord is compressed and they have about 2-minutes to get the baby out before oxygen deprivation begins.

    a.  They would then try moving the baby to get the shoulders out.  If that doesn't work, they break one of the baby's collar bones risking a lung puncture, but hopefully allowing the baby to be delivered.

    b.  If that still doesn't work, they would break the second collarbone risking another lung puncture to try and deliver the baby.

    c.  If all else fails, they would then push the baby back in through the birth canal and into the uterus for an emergency C-section.  The whole process could cause severe tearing for me, not even addressing the additional pain and suffering of myself and the baby.

Yes, I could opt to still attempt a natural birth in hopes that the ultrasound is incorrect.  However, in the past five years, I have known 4 births that ended in the baby's death, as well as babies born with shoulder dystocia who needed physical therapy and other helps to recover from their difficult delivery.  Our baby's survival and well-being is more important than whatever birth method delivers our baby.  So a C-section it is...let the preparations begin. 

Monday, July 25, 2016

Update

Grief over my former co-worker's death is still in process.  I know she is in Heaven without a doubt and not being close to her, I don't really miss her...sorry if that sounds heartless, it wasn't intended that way.  I hurt for her family.  My thoughts are filled with what they must be going through.  Especially her daughter, they were very close, and to be dealing with severe injuries and surgery without your mom must be awful.  Life changes without warning sometimes.

In other news, I do not have gestational diabetes thankfully.  That means they will allow me to attempt a natural birth, although I've been warned that a C-section could still happen depending on how labor progresses.  I am scared of surgery mainly because I know it lengthens recovery time and I want so much to get back to my normal self and care for my family the way I would like to.

Being this enormously pregnant, I can't do much at all anymore.  I spent most of this past weekend simply keeping my feet up and trying to avoid swelling too much.  It really doesn't matter what I do, my feet are just fat.  Even just sitting in a regular chair or on the couch, they will balloon up if I don't put them up.  My compression socks help a little.

I tried to shave this morning.  Ha!  I even bought an electric razor, but I could barely reach all of my leg to get the job done.  When I sit down, my belly literally is a finger width or two from touching the chair I am sitting on.  Huge.  Simply huge.  Hopefully it is the last time I will need to shave before delivery!

Tomorrow at my OB appointment, the doctor is planning to do a sweep to separate the amniotic sac from the cervix.  50% of the time, it starts labor within 3-days.  I sure hope so.  I am more than ready to meet this little baby and move on with life again.  It seems at a standstill just waiting.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Death Unexpected

I just learned a former co-worker of mine passed away this weekend.  We weren't close, but worked alongside each other over 10 years.  She was a strong woman of God and a dedicated mother.

It's still surreal to believe she's gone.  It was a bad car accident I understand, leaving her daughter still in the hospital facing some terrible injuries and her husband who is also injured, but released from the hospital.  Her other two children were not with them from what I understand.  They are young, but mostly grown children.  I think it will take time to comprehend reality.  She was young, at most in her early 50's.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Compassion vs. Wisdom

Going through trials and struggles we learn so many lessons and gain so much wisdom.  We learn how to cope.  We learn not only to survive, but to thrive.  The problem comes when we see someone going through a similar struggle, learning similar lessons in wisdom that we have already learned.

However, having that wisdom of how a person might best fix their problems isn't what helps that person.  When someone is facing a struggle, they need your compassion and your love above whatever wisdom you may have to offer.

I remember a client I once had (parent of a child in my program) who found herself facing divorce and restraining orders due to an alcoholic/abusive husband.  From my experience dealing with the threat of major life changes in my husband's cancer journey and also a close family member's experience with domestic violence, I was able to relate to this parent.

I shared with her the little tidbits of resources I could in the way of shelters, hotlines, and community support groups.  I also assisted her as quickly and efficiently as possible when dealing with the complications of keeping her children safe at our school.  Those things helped build a minor relationship connection, but the real connection came when I saw her in person one day and I asked her how she was doing.  She didn't quite know how to answer...she'd done her part with lawyers, court orders, and protecting her children.  The rest was simply a process to complete.  And I was able to understand her struggle to explain and fill in the blank.  She was simply "living through it" to the best of her ability.  When I made that comment, a tear sparked in her eyes and she gave me a hug.  Sometimes just knowing someone else can relate and understand where you are at is more important than all the wisdom in the world of how to make a complicated situation result in a good outcome.

Hurting people need our compassion more than our wisdom. As the saying goes, they don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.  We must be the body of Christ first, giving and showing love before offering wisdom and advice.  Sometimes we can share our wisdom.  Other times, and we must listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance to know the difference, when they need us simply to love them through the journey and allow God to teach them those important lessons in their own time as they are facing their own personal journey through pain.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Pregnancy Update

Nine months pregnant and officially full term today at 37 weeks.  My doctor has told me that they won't let me go past 39 weeks due to my last ultrasound that showed a large baby and generous amniotic fluid.  So, two weeks and counting.

I'm not sure if the house is fully prepared, but I'm fast approaching the "I don't care" mentality as my belly continues to grow past the typical 40 week size.  I haven't seen my belly button for weeks and simply sitting down or standing up is such a challenge -let alone doing housework.  I am truly enormous.  My legs, hands, and feet swell constantly anymore.  Normal grocery shopping now includes coming home halfway through to put my feet up and completing the shopping with a second trip.

This week I go in for a four-hour fasting glucose test...meaning I don't eat anything after dinner until I complete the test the following morning.  I will go in first thing in the morning to drink two wonderfully nasty glucose drinks and endure four different blood draws to test how my body reacts.  Not looking forward to that experience at all!

Being this late into pregnancy if I do have gestational diabetes, not much can be done for it, but it will directly impact delivery options.  My baby is measuring very large.  He could simply be a long baby, but if he is a diabetes baby, he could be short and fat, meaning delivery may be dangerous to attempt naturally.  A diagnosis of diabetes would most likely mean a planned C-section.

I'm not one of those women who need to have a natural birth to feel like I'm a good mom...I've had two wonderful births already and this pregnancy has been such a challenge, I only want a healthy baby -no matter what I have to endure to get there.  That said, major surgery is scary too.  God knows and He will carry me through whatever the end result is.  Thank you for your prayers in advance!