Writing this blog can be therapeutic. I've been wanting to blog the last week, but haven't quite known what to write, just that my emotions were strong and not always easy to understand.
We had a guest preacher at church tonight. He spoke in the TV preacher characteristic way, lots of emphasis on words and carefully thought out points, a well written speech. Our normal pastor is much more easy flowing and allows the Holy Spirit to speak through him spontaneously and as a result sermons tend to be much more natural and real from the heart. Even though it was odd to listen to this sermon's sound and rhythm, the message was good.
It was about how the storms in our lives and how their purpose is to draw us closer to Christ. It was about how we are not spared from suffering, but that suffering in our lives is part of what helps us to grow and mature. When we are in a time of suffering, we need to be allowing it to draw us closer to the Lord rather than to crush our spirit.
I am definitely in a time of suffering, a storm of life so to speak. Being challenged, being broken, being stretched.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Topsy-Turvy Again
Got the shocker of my life on my first day back to work. One of my teammates in the office turned in her resignation. I'm going to miss her greatly and it is going to be a big adjustment in the roles the other two of us in the office play. For everything there is a season and our season of working together is done.
Her departure is demanding a restructure in how our administration is run. Both myself and my remaining teammate are increasing our workloads to compensate. Part of me is excited for the challenge. Another part of me is starting to feel overwhelmed. And part of me is concerned about our ability to keep up. And then the last part is the sadness and disappointment in the situation itself. I can't expect someone to be something they are not and obviously God is making some changes in His business.
This past year of being the boss and managing a million-dollar business has been such a rollercoaster. I wonder if things will ever reach a steadier pace. I questioned what I could have done better or different that would have helped the situation, but there isn't much and even the things I have thought of probably would not have made the difference. Her history at our place of work has unfortunately been entwined with drama and gossip from the staff. Perhaps this will calm some of that down. We've never been known to be gossipers and naysayers, but especially this last year things have been down a rough road.
I'm told that a change in leadership always brings about testing from the employees and atypical behavior as everyone learns what the change means for them. I've definitely seen it. I'm doing my best and for the most part I am at peace with my choices. I haven't done anything perfectly and there are areas I am working on.
Her departure is demanding a restructure in how our administration is run. Both myself and my remaining teammate are increasing our workloads to compensate. Part of me is excited for the challenge. Another part of me is starting to feel overwhelmed. And part of me is concerned about our ability to keep up. And then the last part is the sadness and disappointment in the situation itself. I can't expect someone to be something they are not and obviously God is making some changes in His business.
This past year of being the boss and managing a million-dollar business has been such a rollercoaster. I wonder if things will ever reach a steadier pace. I questioned what I could have done better or different that would have helped the situation, but there isn't much and even the things I have thought of probably would not have made the difference. Her history at our place of work has unfortunately been entwined with drama and gossip from the staff. Perhaps this will calm some of that down. We've never been known to be gossipers and naysayers, but especially this last year things have been down a rough road.
I'm told that a change in leadership always brings about testing from the employees and atypical behavior as everyone learns what the change means for them. I've definitely seen it. I'm doing my best and for the most part I am at peace with my choices. I haven't done anything perfectly and there are areas I am working on.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Vacation!
The last several days have been a short vacation for my family and I! There just happened to be a gap of 3 days where there was no summer camp and school didn't start yet so we all took the time off to just be a family. It was a real blessing!
We spent a lot of time together just being at home and made a few special trips out to see the sights of our city. Our family went bowling for the first time, played mini-golf for the first time, and made a visit to the local Dinosaur Exhibit. My kids and I also went on some nice evening walks to the park. Spending time together is the best.
I was also able to get quite a bit done around the house since putz-ing is my version of relaxing. I don't do "nothing" very well. I have to be doing something, even if that means sorting through clutter or rearranging a room. Half of my bedroom is clear and vacuumed, the living room is clean and vacuumed, and I rearranged our multipurpose room.
I finally got onto Pinterest after hearing people rave about it for the past several months. I don't really see why it is such a big draw to be honest. Yes, it has lots of neat things on it, but I'm too practical to waste my time dreaming. I "pin" recipes I want to try, ideas for improving the home that I may use in the future, ideas of activities and projects to do with the kids, and then organizing ideas that I have actually put into use and accomplished. The only catch is, there is a small cost involved with most of the organization ideas to purchase the supplies to get them done. Nothing that I don't mind spending money on and nothing is very expensive, but it can frustrate me to have to wait to implement a good idea. I don't like waiting when I have the time to do something, but can't become a spending freak to accomplish my goals. So I wait. Sometimes I also have to get my hubby's permission (or his help) and what I love may or may not be what he loves...most of the time he doesn't care either way as long as my changes don't effect his routine. :)
My work full-day meeting went well. There were those that moaned and groaned about the new changes, but they all understood the purpose behind it. God was there and the presentation my co-worker did on Exchange Life Ministries was pretty good. I think it helped make what it means to be a Christian more understandable.
We spent a lot of time together just being at home and made a few special trips out to see the sights of our city. Our family went bowling for the first time, played mini-golf for the first time, and made a visit to the local Dinosaur Exhibit. My kids and I also went on some nice evening walks to the park. Spending time together is the best.
I was also able to get quite a bit done around the house since putz-ing is my version of relaxing. I don't do "nothing" very well. I have to be doing something, even if that means sorting through clutter or rearranging a room. Half of my bedroom is clear and vacuumed, the living room is clean and vacuumed, and I rearranged our multipurpose room.
I finally got onto Pinterest after hearing people rave about it for the past several months. I don't really see why it is such a big draw to be honest. Yes, it has lots of neat things on it, but I'm too practical to waste my time dreaming. I "pin" recipes I want to try, ideas for improving the home that I may use in the future, ideas of activities and projects to do with the kids, and then organizing ideas that I have actually put into use and accomplished. The only catch is, there is a small cost involved with most of the organization ideas to purchase the supplies to get them done. Nothing that I don't mind spending money on and nothing is very expensive, but it can frustrate me to have to wait to implement a good idea. I don't like waiting when I have the time to do something, but can't become a spending freak to accomplish my goals. So I wait. Sometimes I also have to get my hubby's permission (or his help) and what I love may or may not be what he loves...most of the time he doesn't care either way as long as my changes don't effect his routine. :)
My work full-day meeting went well. There were those that moaned and groaned about the new changes, but they all understood the purpose behind it. God was there and the presentation my co-worker did on Exchange Life Ministries was pretty good. I think it helped make what it means to be a Christian more understandable.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Another Spiritual Test coming up!
This Friday is yet another full-day meeting at work. The last one of the year until next spring. I don't feel nearly as stressed in preparation for it since I have been preparing pretty much the last several weeks already, but there is still much to do. You can pray that not only does it go as God leads, but that I don't get stuck under oppression afterwards.
My workplace is about to undergo a very big change in how things are done. It's a relief to me that I am not the one causing the change, although I will be the one to usher it in. Our state regulations are changing and getting more strict. It will help our program quality increase, but will also force the staff to have to be more accountable and that might be uncomfortable for them.
My stress level is decreasing at the moment. Some of the changes that I had requested permission for from my superiors were granted and that helps to relieve the workload that was sitting on my shoulders! This first year in this job is just one huge adjustment after another in working to create a smooth-flowing administration and a better experience for both our staff and clients. I am doing a better job of turning off my phone/text/emails at night to focus on being present at home, and not taking work with me when I do take breaks at work. It has also helped that my administration team has been able to start sharing more of the work load. I rearranged the tasks and did my best to assign them to each person's strengths and divide the ones that have a higher difficulty level to be shared tasks. So far it seems to have eased everyone's stress levels and we are all busy accomplishing different tasks!
My workplace is about to undergo a very big change in how things are done. It's a relief to me that I am not the one causing the change, although I will be the one to usher it in. Our state regulations are changing and getting more strict. It will help our program quality increase, but will also force the staff to have to be more accountable and that might be uncomfortable for them.
My stress level is decreasing at the moment. Some of the changes that I had requested permission for from my superiors were granted and that helps to relieve the workload that was sitting on my shoulders! This first year in this job is just one huge adjustment after another in working to create a smooth-flowing administration and a better experience for both our staff and clients. I am doing a better job of turning off my phone/text/emails at night to focus on being present at home, and not taking work with me when I do take breaks at work. It has also helped that my administration team has been able to start sharing more of the work load. I rearranged the tasks and did my best to assign them to each person's strengths and divide the ones that have a higher difficulty level to be shared tasks. So far it seems to have eased everyone's stress levels and we are all busy accomplishing different tasks!
Saturday, August 3, 2013
On the Up and Up
Tonight's worship in church was just the intimacy with God that I needed. It was really refreshing and tonight is probably the first night in a few weeks where there hasn't been some form of depression lingering over me. I like what our Pastor preaches: worship isn't a time where you come to hear the music and let the worship team bring God to you; it is a time for you to come humbly before the Lord seeking Him!
My doctor's appointment went well. I tried a new doctor and I really like her a lot; very easy to talk to. They took some blood work and it turns out that I am physically fine, just overly stressed. It is very strange to think that because many times when I am feeling tired or my body feels nearly asleep (apparently symptoms of stress), I am not feeling stressed. But with the oppression/depression I've been struggling with and knowing the cause of how I feel, I am beginning to recognize it for what it is.
This last week was probably the worst. I have a stressful job. I'm a mom of young children. I'm new in my job position too. A good recipe for struggle. I have to learn how to take care of me. I was telling my husband that I never dreamed I would be the person who needed to seek medical attention for something like stress -after all, I handle stress pretty good, I'm a very strong person...why can't I handle it all? Then my husband gives me a spiritual slap up-side the head and says, "If you could handle it all, you wouldn't need to rely on God." Ouch. Needed to hear that one.
I also found a sentence in James 4:1 "...but endurance must do its complete work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing..."
That hit home for me. Endurance must do its complete work...apparently I'm not done yet. So, deeper into the Word and taking more time outs for myself are in the very near future!
My doctor's appointment went well. I tried a new doctor and I really like her a lot; very easy to talk to. They took some blood work and it turns out that I am physically fine, just overly stressed. It is very strange to think that because many times when I am feeling tired or my body feels nearly asleep (apparently symptoms of stress), I am not feeling stressed. But with the oppression/depression I've been struggling with and knowing the cause of how I feel, I am beginning to recognize it for what it is.
This last week was probably the worst. I have a stressful job. I'm a mom of young children. I'm new in my job position too. A good recipe for struggle. I have to learn how to take care of me. I was telling my husband that I never dreamed I would be the person who needed to seek medical attention for something like stress -after all, I handle stress pretty good, I'm a very strong person...why can't I handle it all? Then my husband gives me a spiritual slap up-side the head and says, "If you could handle it all, you wouldn't need to rely on God." Ouch. Needed to hear that one.
I also found a sentence in James 4:1 "...but endurance must do its complete work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing..."
That hit home for me. Endurance must do its complete work...apparently I'm not done yet. So, deeper into the Word and taking more time outs for myself are in the very near future!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)