Tis the Season

We successfully survived Christmas I would say.  An all clear from the CT Scan brought a sigh of relief, our oncologist appointment is next week.  The big family Christmas get-together was on Christmas Eve.  It was nice to get it done and we had a good day.  Then we had our own little family celebration on Christmas day with eggs and bacon for breakfast followed by two days of hanging out in our pajamas.

It has been a good week off from work, although it hasn't been totally work-free.  I think I have to be out of town for that to happen...maybe this summer.  My hubby and I had a little spat early in the week about the one thing we always struggle with...housework.  Somehow in our many years of marriage we have still to find a way to work together where we are both satisfied with the outcome.  We had a great conversation and I had a good cry with him.  We don't really fight...it's always more of a passive-aggressive behavior where one of us leaves a task for the other to do and they do the same...never works.  We also have different priorities when it comes to housework.  I hate dishes and laundry, dusting and filing papers.  I love to clean while rearranging...it's the only time I truly dust. I know, that's gross, but true.  He has his own ideas of what should be the priority for the time we spend and it isn't rearranging.  :0)

Anyway, we got through the issues and have had a good vacation.  I've spent much of it organizing the house and of course, rearranging -with my hubby's blessing!  I read a blog written by a Christian woman who literally took all her children's toys away from them and stores what she kept in the attic, only allowing her children to use certain things at a time.  I didn't take my kid's toys away, but I did use my Christmas money to buy bins for the built-in shelves in their closets.  Now the majority of their toys are safe and out of reach.  They can take down whatever they want to play with, but must clean it up before they start playing with anything else.  Having their toys organized and out of reach helps to enforce this habit!  I am very excited.  Ideally, they will clean their rooms each night before bed, but that may be pushing it too far knowing how busy we get on school nights.

I've also re-claimed our master bedroom from the piles of laundry and other odds and ends that seem to wind up hiding out in our room.  It looks like a real bedroom again!  I was telling my husband that I wanted to create a place where I could read my bible and spend time with God, but wasn't sure how.  He suggested we move my secretary desk to the bedroom and get an artist's desk for the basement.  He also suggested we rearrange the basement to share the large desk we have so I can still have a place for my laptop.  !!!!Yes, he does love me and know me!!!!  The artist's desk was one of those "someday" dreams for me.  Something I wanted to do, but never really thought possible in the here-and-now.  I have my work cut out for me in sorting through my boxes of stuff in the basement to make room, but I am so excited to not only have a space to do my art again, but to also be so supported by my hubby!

Two-Year CT Scan Day

In the midst of Christmas shopping, school events, work events, finishing my class, a graduation, 2 kid birthdays and trying to remember 2 other birthdays and some how we still have to fit in family pictures...we also will fit in a CT Scan (this morning) and follow up appointment with the oncology doctor (later this month).

How did life become so crazy?  None of these things are much in my control to plan or change.  They all have just happened.  Well, pictures is my fault.  I lost track of time in November when we usually do pictures.

We didn't get any news about the scan yet.  It usually takes a day or two to see remarks in the online account about his health.  We had our normal tradition of going with my hubby to his scan appointment and eating breakfast together afterwards.  For the first time, my youngest's prayer changed to a true request rather than just stating her hopes and likes of the day.  She prayed that God would not let Daddy get sick again.  So sweet and sad that she was thinking along those lines.  We didn't prompt it either.

I've been sensitive emotionally...maybe in part due to so much going on this month and having to get up so early this morning.  Walking down the hospital halls to the Radiology clinic brought back so many memories and emotions.  The nerves I had two years ago hoping the chemo had worked.  The memory of my little one serenading the waiting room with "Swing Low, Sweet Cherry-ot" when she was two...accompanied by sadness that one of her cutest moments was in a hospital waiting room while her daddy fought cancer.  There are memories of the numerous meals eaten at the hospital cafeteria.  And memories of why we keep the breakfast tradition.  When life is not guaranteed, you've got to make every event as positive and special as possible for your family.

We also ran into the Infusion scheduler and our favorite nurse who would administer the chemo drugs and joke around with us.  Maybe all the memories made it too close for comfort.  Maybe I'm still not done dealing with what we lived through...not done processing the emotions or the way life was lived then.  It is very odd because I don't feel emotional except when those memories pop up.  Then the emotion wells up and my eyes tear up and I feel the way I did so long ago.

Balance in Keeping Christ the Focus

I'm seeking to understand/find a balance between being too "religious" and just keeping God the focus of life.  I do not want to be legalistic, something that I can easily fall into.  I've witnessed that being too strict in religion pushes others away from Jesus, but I don't want to invite trouble either by being too lenient in exposing my children to the world. 

My daughter loves a princess cartoon on television.  The problem is that it has a sorcerer on the show with spells and gems with supernatural powers.  On the other hand, it is a show that supports being kind and respectful to others.  The protective mom inside me wants to put my kiddos in a bubble and protect them from the world.  But I know that keeping them ignorant isn't good for them either.  One day they will face the world on their own without me and they need to be prepared.  So the questions are: How much do we allow them to be exposed to?  How much do we allow them to participate in? How do we prepare them without stumbling them?

She had recently selected a book about the princess from her school book order form and expressed her disappointment when she didn't receive that book in her order.  I had intentionally not ordered the book because it came with an amulet like the princess uses to speak to animals.  I explained to her why that I didn't order the book because it was all about magic and if we rely on magic too much, we sometimes stop relying on God.  I could tell it was a subject that she wasn't quite mature enough to understand and after talking it over with my hubby, we decided that instead of banning the princess character from our home, that we would allow certain things and be careful where it led.  So, on our shopping trip I picked out two books with the princess character in them and allowed my daughter to choose one in place of the one she didn't get from her book order.  She was so excited and it was a good story about friendship and didn't include any supernatural themes, so we both got what we wanted!