Spiritual High

Heavenly Father I give all of me to you.  Move in my life and I will follow.  Your humble servant, I earnestly seek you and wait on you.  You are Almighty God and you and you alone know me, know my heart, and know my path.  Encourage and uplift me.  Enable me to be a light, to be a lamp shining your light.  I praise you and I am filled with gratitude for your faithfulness, your understanding and your compassion.  In your Son's name, Amen.

Here I am, barely a three weeks after I first learned of the pending changes in our administration at work.  I have felt every type of emotion in this circumstance.  It was obvious as events played out that this circumstance was orchestrated by God.  I didn't understand what He was doing.  I couldn't rationalize what had occurred to cause these events, but yet they were happening and it was somehow God's purpose and His will for me.

This process of saying goodbye...to a loved co-worker, to a way of doing things, and to whatever understanding I had of what God was doing...was difficult.  There were feelings of betrayal, feelings of discouragement, self-doubt, helplessness, and overwhelming responsibilities to be sorted out.  Knowing that God's hand was directing it all brought a measure of comfort and reminded me to "Let Go and Let God".  I did let go, as much as I humanly could and I pray that He will enable me to grow stronger and better through this.

Today ends our first week as a duo in the office.  It has been increasingly encouraging.  We are able to handle much more with less stress than I originally thought we could.  Yes, I'm still behind in work, yet considering what we've come through, we are doing quite well.  The stress level has actually decreased.

On the home front, my prayers are changing perspective.  I noticed that in my journals I often pray wearing hats.  Specifically prayers as a mom and prayers as a working woman in authority.  Now I am striving to pray as just me.  A woman after God's own heart no matter what hat she is wearing.  I want God to make me complete...as complete as I can be while still here on earth.  It is nice to not be feeling that the waves of life are overtaking me any more.  It's still a rough sea to navigate, but with the Lord's help I feel safe and secure in Him.