Compassion vs. Wisdom

Going through trials and struggles we learn so many lessons and gain so much wisdom.  We learn how to cope.  We learn not only to survive, but to thrive.  The problem comes when we see someone going through a similar struggle, learning similar lessons in wisdom that we have already learned.

However, having that wisdom of how a person might best fix their problems isn't what helps that person.  When someone is facing a struggle, they need your compassion and your love above whatever wisdom you may have to offer.

I remember a client I once had (parent of a child in my program) who found herself facing divorce and restraining orders due to an alcoholic/abusive husband.  From my experience dealing with the threat of major life changes in my husband's cancer journey and also a close family member's experience with domestic violence, I was able to relate to this parent.

I shared with her the little tidbits of resources I could in the way of shelters, hotlines, and community support groups.  I also assisted her as quickly and efficiently as possible when dealing with the complications of keeping her children safe at our school.  Those things helped build a minor relationship connection, but the real connection came when I saw her in person one day and I asked her how she was doing.  She didn't quite know how to answer...she'd done her part with lawyers, court orders, and protecting her children.  The rest was simply a process to complete.  And I was able to understand her struggle to explain and fill in the blank.  She was simply "living through it" to the best of her ability.  When I made that comment, a tear sparked in her eyes and she gave me a hug.  Sometimes just knowing someone else can relate and understand where you are at is more important than all the wisdom in the world of how to make a complicated situation result in a good outcome.

Hurting people need our compassion more than our wisdom. As the saying goes, they don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.  We must be the body of Christ first, giving and showing love before offering wisdom and advice.  Sometimes we can share our wisdom.  Other times, and we must listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance to know the difference, when they need us simply to love them through the journey and allow God to teach them those important lessons in their own time as they are facing their own personal journey through pain.