We survived hosting Thanksgiving twice this year. Twice wasn't the plan, but it was how life happened. And in all honesty, although it was a challenge, I'm so thankful to be done with the major hosting responsibilities and just enjoy the rest of the Christmas season. We'll have a small get together with my family that lives close by, but none of the crazy stress of hosting a big hullabaloo.
I got to see my brother and meet his girlfriend. It feels weird to call her his girlfriend, because they seemed to know each other so well it would be so easy to say wife. No pressure intended for them, just my brain processing in its own way.
I've always been protective of my brother. When we were kids, he got teased mercilessly by all of us older sisters. Being the only boy and the youngest, it was easy and mostly not malicious. I don't know exactly when, but somewhere along the way I noticed the negative effect it was having on him, and decided from then on, he was going to be my best buddy. We spent a lot of time together and I stood up for him. I still teased him, but I tried not to take it too far.
Being adults hasn't changed that part our relationship for me. I still want to make sure he is treated well and walking wisely in the ways of God. However, it isn't my place anymore. So I pray and hope that he finds true joy in his life, and seeks the Lord first and foremost. Because God will and can do all that I cannot do for him.
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I've also been pondering different concepts lately. I had to google what "my truth" means. I've heard it here and there, but was reading about someone who was using that phrase as a way to explain and celebrate their choices. The words just didn't match with the definition of "truth" in my own little brain, so I had to look it up. According to the dictionary, it is a way of sharing one's perspective or feelings, stating it in a way that refuses argument. And I can understand it from that definition.
It also was analyzed by my "spiritual lens" for a lack of a better term. I've noticed in my ponderings I take in a new idea to mull over and decide what I think of it or try to understand it, and I always end up looking at it from an eternal perspective.
So, I have come to the conclusion, that the term "my truth", for me, is one that needs to come from a spiritual perspective as well. When I look at my own "truth" I define it by my identity, and my identity ultimately comes from God. I am His, and He has a plan for me. A plan that I don't fully understand and I want Him to take the lead because He knows what I do not.
I am wife, mother, woman, teacher, etc.. I am not my own. Many times when priorities are messed up or my walk with God has been on the back burner, I have felt lost in who I am and have struggled to find myself. Each time over the years, I have withdrawn, not neglecting my responsibilities, but simplifying them so that I can focus more on where I am with God. Once I start to get right with the Lord, little by little, I find my place again. My value, my worth, doesn't come from anyone, not even myself. My value, and yours, comes from the Lord.
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