This last week was a 4-day work week because of the President's Day holiday. It felt like a 6-day work week. Thursday night I was so exhausted mentally, physically, and even spiritually. I felt like I was living through a never-ending battle. Each and every day was a struggle to fill the gaps in the scheduling at work with teachers having life struggles, many out sick including myself, and subs who weren't available. My husband was sick, my children were fighting illness, I was recovering...I just wanted to give up. I wanted to bury myself in a hole and cry. My attitude was struggling and I suppose the only positive thing I can say about myself is that I kept going to God.
I have a note I wrote myself as a reminder and a motivator on my desk: "I'm looking forward to our time together. ~Jesus". Having that visible every day helps me remember to turn to Him. I wrote journal prayers like I always do, even if they were short. I begged God for help, for wisdom, for rest, for answers, for peace, and for a better attitude. He drew me to 2 Timothy, a chapter mentioned in church that the Junior High Ministry had recently studied at a retreat. These are the two verses that stuck out to me and have really helped me:
2 Timothy 4:18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil work and will bring me safely into His heavenly kingdom. To Him be the glory forever and ever! Amen.
2 Timothy 4:17 But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me...
I needed those words. They boosted my heart and my spirit. God answered my prayers. Most of my struggles will continue for the next few weeks, but He is providing for me. We haven't gone a day where I wasn't able to fill the gap, even if it had to be me. Today was a blessing because even though several of my employees weren't feeling well, they helped to stand in the gap. As a reward and a much needed break, we are cancelling our normal monthly after-hours meeting. We all need the time.
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