Memory Lane

I've been slowly going through my piles of junk and paper to clean my basement. 

I have a vision of creating a memory book for each daughter and also perhaps someday writing a book about some of our experiences.  As I find the old wall-calendars from the past, I am putting the notes into an excel spreadsheet and tossing the physical calendar.  Tonight I found my 2011 calendar and logged its notes...that was our year of cancer.

Although the calendar only has the important appointments and dates of big events, it brought back many memories and with what was noted, I could still fill in the blanks of the things that weren't noted on the calendar.  I remember what each appointment discussed and revealed, the CT scan after surgery that didn't reveal cancer returning only months before the next one did.  The scheduled final round of chemo that was cancelled due to my husband's lungs deteriorating, my children's school events, and more.

I was amazed over all the "normal" life events we participated in during the midst of living through cancer.  The children still attended birthday parties.  They were involved in sports.  Life didn't come to a screeching halt for us.  Sometimes I remember it as ending...  Emotionally, my world ended.  In reality, it only changed.  It changed forever.

Now whenever I see past co-workers or past acquaintances, they always ask how my husband is doing and if the remission is still "going well".  Yes, we are doing well.  Somehow we have survived to tell the tale and continue to live life as best we can.  I feel like I imagine an older woman in a movie would be feeling as she retold her life's history.  I'm only early thirties still...what more will I get to live in my lifetime?  God only knows.