First Day of Chemo

Exhaustion is setting in from the hours spent preparing, stress, and troubled sleep.  I can feel it in my bones.  It's a good thing that the first day of chemo is the easiest.  It is the day that the cancer warrior is still feeling "normal" and feeling good.  We anticipated a 9-hour day, but were blessed to finish at 7-hours.  We passed the time together chatting, playing Words with Friends, snacking, and learning how it all worked.  The nurse we had was very informative and kind.  Her personality was easy to work with.  Some nurses feel more like sergeants giving directions, but she gave us direction and information as well as the freedom to communicate and make our own choices.  As the day ended, he was a little tired and feeling "crummy" in general, but not too bad.  He was able to enjoy dinner with us, his favorite meal: Spaghetti!

I will miss most of his infusion days and I'm not totally comfortable with that situation, but I can't afford to miss a month or more of work.  There's a little of the same emotional struggle I had when he was in the hospital and I knew I had to trust others to care for my children while I cared for my husband.  At least this time he gets to come home every day and I get to be the one to ensure he gets the best care, plus his mom is nearby and can be there for him when I can't.  That helps me feel a little bit better.

I see God at work all around us in the ways many are stepping in to care for us and provide.  I see Him in the good care we are receiving at the hospital (aside from Friday's chaos).  I sense Him in my own calm mindset and my children's easy-going acceptance of the changes in their lives.

I am teaching my children a new routine.  As soon as they step in the door I give them hand sanitizer, they take off their shoes and carry them by hand to the closet to put them away.  Then they change their clothes from the day and put on clean clothes.  Then they can potty and wash their hands and greet their daddy.  It's a totally foreign behavior to me because I tend to lean towards the philosophy that "God made dirt and dirt don't hurt" (to a degree).  Now this dirt can hurt.  They seem to like the responsibility of helping to care for Daddy so far.  I've tried to explain his illness as simply as possible and they seem to understand so far.  I praise the Lord for that.